Part 2, of 3 at same time

It is about time for the second installment of my 3-in-one-whammy by the children.  Earlier on I discussed how we handled the situation of my, then, 13 year old daughter when she succumbed to the flattering attention of an 18 year old young man she met through MSN - See Different things for different people.

Well, just a week after the proverbial hit the fan, we (my very able better half and I) were going through all the deleted conversations on MSN - again to make sure that we had no more than just the one visit to be concerned about, when we came across a conversation between our oldest and a friend of his, in which he tells his friend that he had been to see our doctor and the doc diagnosed him with anorexia!  Imagine what went through my mind.  HOW could I have missed it?? 

Part of the problem is that I hardly ever saw him awake!  He was working at a service station and was doing the 2-10 shift in the afternoon.  Being just 19 himself, he had a tendency to sleep until quarter to 2, (at which point I would already be at work) then he rushed off to work  and didn't get back until after 10pm.  He never wanted to eat, saying that he wasn't hungry because he had something at work.   He would then stay up most of the night working on his computer modifying racing cars that he downloads off games - his passion!  He loads them back into the champcar game.  When he finally got tired he would sleep until quarter to 2 again - the visious circle.  Because he wasn't eating, he wasn't getting hungry and because he wasn't getting hungry, he forgot about eating! Another part of the problem is that he was always as skinny as a rake and the fashion dictated that youngsters wore their clothes several sizes too large!  This however doesn't excuse me missing it.

As I now knew about his problem, I had to confront him.  We explained that  we weren't snooping on him, but by trying to keep his sister safe, came across this conversation.  We asked would he like to explain if it was just a boastful conversation (a tendency he still has at 23 - boasting) or was there some reality to it.  He said that he had been losing weight and had gone to see the GP.  Thankfully because of the reasons I mentioned earlier, we were able to put this behind us by making sure that he had regular very nourishing meals.  He will never be overweight, but at least he now isn't anorexic.  We did consider letting him go for counciling, but he was against the idea and said we should try good routine first. 

We had to assure him that we were not mad at what had happened, but that we were only concerned for his wellbeing and that we loved him regardless of the timing of our finding this out.

The lessons I learnt from this is to make sure that your children have regular meals - even if they are 19 years old! 

No matter how busy your life gets, make sure that you check on your children's well being and don't just leave it them.  Even at 19 they are not as much in charge as they would like to make the rest of the world think.

Once again I was thankfull that we were able to talk about this without it blowing out of all proportion.  He understood that he had to take responsibility for his life and well being and now is a happy young man who is living away from home with a friend and calling me once in a while asking how you cook certain dishes!  He is becoming quite the young chef!