Iam a single mum with a 4 year old daughter. I love my daughter more than anything in the world but we seem to be constantly involved in a "tug of war" she is only 4 but extremely head strong and quite intelligent for her age she seems to

know how to push my buttons and we are constantly getting in to debates about everything. I feel like I have no control over her anymore. Is this normal behaviour for a 4 year old or is it true that girls are harder to raise then boys? I just keep thinking if it is like this now what will it be like when she is a teenager! where have I gone wrong? I want to have a good relationship with my daughter. Any advise?

My sister in law has a daughter of a similar age who sounds exactly the same.  Her daughter knows how to push her mum's buttons and from what I've read kids know what bugs certain people and will do that on purpose to get a reaction.  It seems to be an issue of control / attention seeking.  I don't know the best way of dealing with it as my girl is only 14 months old (though is already showing signs of being similar!) but it seems that if you only pick the big battles rather than making an issue of each time your girl is defiant then it might give you more peace.  Another thing to bear in mind.  At least your daughter will stand up for herself so when she gets to that age of peer group pressure she will hopefully have the confidence to say 'no' rather than going along with the crowd!

Good luck.