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ADVICE RATING

4.99 (Highly recommend) from 25 votes (212 Visits)

Talking To Your Kids

by SingleMumOfOne

(April 2007) (rank 438th)

I love to talk to my son - since he was born I've talked to him. About everything appropriate to his life. I talk to him in plain english, sometimes using very adult or difficult-to-say words. He is thriving on language. One good book for promoting correct language

is "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" by Beatrix Potter. Jayden understands what implore, recommend, and even request means. And he is only just two.

The other thing about talking openly with your kids is that firstly they talk openly with you, but also there is a much wider world available for them created in language. For example, when Jayden is having a tantrum I can either give him a choice about his actions by telling him to choose to continue the tantrum or go and play, or I can make a request of him to to stop it and calm down. And the actions he takes are distinctly different depending on the language I use. If I say "I request that you calm down and come and give me a cuddle", he actually does so. But If I say "Jayden, either you can choose to continue that tantrum or you can choose to come and play", he either continues the tantrum til he's bored, or gets up and goes and plays.

Plus, the world of imagination can live so much more vividly with a wider range of language.

The flip side to talking openly to your kids is ofcourse listening openly to your kids. Their opinion is so important. My son constantly teaches me things about my life. Totally by accident sometimes, but also sometimes very deliberately.

Once I had just gotten off the phone to my boyfriend and I was considering leaving the relationship and never seeing him again (instead of sorting things out). Jayden said to me "running away Mummy". And I realised that was exactly what I was doing. Another time I was having a sob on the couch when Jayden got out of bed and caught me in the loungeroom with eyes full of tears. He patted my head the way I do with him and he said in his beautiful baby voice "Its ok Mummy. Its ok".

When my son has something to say, I hear every word. And then I say "and what else my little possum"?

So, I guess in sharing something that works for me my advice is: talk to your kids as much as you can, and listen to them. They have so much to say.

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ADVICE RATING

4.99 (Highly recommend) from 25 votes

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	May 2007 \| mumof2b

Great article

I agree 100% I've never talked down to my boys, even as babies I talked them in sentences and used proper wprds for things. It helps understand things quicker, great for their language skills also.

Amanda xx

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	May 2007 \| Shamali

I Agree

I say let children be children BUT don't babytalk to them. I hear so many children use BABY words like dogga and bot bot and parents then begin calling it that. ARGGGHHH. A friend of mine gets called uncy instead of Aunty which may have been cute at 1 but he is now 8 and it sound ridiculous, and all her other nephews call her that too. Pet names are sweet but there comes an age where it just isn't appropriate and stunts their language development. Good on you, I have always spoken to my girls as I would speak to anyone of my friends and they both speak clearly and politley and are always commented on for how bright they are. Well done to you!!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| May 2007 \| MummaBear

Talking to your children

I did that with Hannah from birth too. Along with reading books from the time she was just hours old. She was talking in full sentences by the time she started daycare at 19 months and blew them all away. She was using the word rediculous a lot at that time, since it was a new word to her. I correct her speech too. If she says "anythink" i correct her to say "anything" and it's the same with "Brung" or "Brang" i will tell her to say "Brought" instead. Baby dogs are called pups and adult dogs are called dogs, not all of them puppy dogs. I was a breastfeeder and couldn't stand hearing children at the age of 2 asking for 'booby" or "titty" so i always called it milk. Now she still asks for milk but it comes in a carton all processed now instead of being on tap from mum. I think also that by giving children choices, we are empowering them to make decisions on their own, without the fear of failure.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| May 2007 \| sluxton

talk to your babies and kids

I totally agree. Talking is just so important and even though it's nice to have those cushy names for certain things like bot bot (which I hate and never used!) and blankey(which we do have), keep those things to a minimum couple of comfort things. Every other item, animal or thing needs a proper name and they need to hear what that proper name is in you normal language so they can expand their vocabulary correctly.

I never rouse on them for saying things incorrectly, but I do repeat grammar correctly if needed for them to copy and learn. It takes a number of times for them to learn correct grammar and correct plurals (english is not an easy language), but I believe that's best place for them to learn it adn easiest at home if Mum and Dad and Grandparents speak propertly around them.

The biggest problem we've had is getting possessive pronouns and other (cant remember the correct name of the other pronoun if someone can help me out here) pronouns mixed up. For example, using "she" as "she's" instead of "hers". It's too difficult to explain the different to a 3 year old but if they hear it enough times they do eventually use it in the right context.

It makes perfect sense to have 2 foots, lots of sheeps, lots of fishes etc to a toddler. We learnt all that by rote too.

What about Mums who speak other languages than English - how do you go in your languages with these sort of things with your young children? Is it the same?

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| May 2007 \| alvC

Talking

Couldn't agree with you more. We have a 22-month old boy, and I talk to him just like one of my friends. This has really helped kerb the tantrums during this age bracket, as the "Terrible Two's"is something that I think can be minimized. sure he has thrown a couple of them but when we see something brewing we ask him calmly, "Use your words, please" and he makes an effort to try and communicate what is troubling him.

Great article

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	July 2007 \| SingleMumOfOne

Re: Talking

Wow - thats awesome. "Use your words please".

I'm going to try and use that one.

Thanks, Love Louise

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| May 2007 \| Becs

Agree

Communication & giving choices to your child are very impotant, i also do this with my son.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| mumof1girl

I hear you

I've always talked to my daughter since was born also. I also listen to her too. We have great communication.

Great article aswell. Great job

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| hermy

talk to our kids

great advice......ryan is 21 months and his really taking of with his speach.....i think its the healthiest thing to do with your children.....

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| NickysMumMum

talk to our kids

Thank you for this piece of advice. It confirms for me that it's actually ok to talk to babies and you don't have to feel silly. The reason I say this is that since I had Nick I've been a little self conscious about talking to Nick in front of other mums who seem a bit non-vocal, I learned that it was actually more normal to not talk and when I talked to him when changing him in the parents room I thought others thought I was a bit of a nut. So in public I did what they did, keeping my mouth shut around others.

But at home Nick and I have the best fun, I am uninhibited as I talk and sing with him. He sings back too and I respond to everything he says and does. He's 14months and I can see that he's learning the language I use and he's responding to me. The other day I told him it's time for his bath and I always go get his jammies ready before hand. I don't know if i asked him where his jammies were but I'd already grabbed some and was walking into his room with them. He was close behind me and had grabbed a different set because 1. he knew it was bathtime and 2. he knew he needed his jammies. I was so excited. It's just one example of how he's showing me that it's been paying off to talk to him as I do.
Thanks again!!

's Hayley xxx