When people hear my son is violent they always assume that I allow him to watch TV or movies that are violent. They assume that  violence must be a part of our daily life.... I get so frustrated when i am having to explain that I don’t allow him to watch anything but Nick JR or Disney, he doesn't see the Simpson's...he doesn’t have toy guns, or knives etc..... He isn’t this way cause he was abused or unloved as a baby, he hasn’t been passed out drunk on the floor or shooting up drugs, I was never beaten in front of him. Some kids are just this way and alas i have one of them...I hear the 'ohhh but he has to be getting it from somewhere' and automatically it must be me cause I'm his mum

I see a lot of behavior in J that scares me...I, at almost 30  and 5'8 am afraid of a Scrawny little 4 foot 6 year old. He has an explosive temper (which I also have but I am trying to keep control of mine ), he is verbally and physically aggressive, and threatens us daily. He has used many items as weapons, for example using a cricket bat  or a shovel to attack his little sister. He has slit his wrists and then threatened to do it to others, he has been cruel to his animals, has set fires to toys in his bedroom, and has destroyed the property of others. He also talks of death and murder more than the average 6 year old would…

There are many reasons why a child may be acting this way and it is a guessing game a lot of the time as to what goes on in the mind of my little boy.... I have learnt that I need to keep as calm as possible and to make sure i always know what he is doing at every second when is is at home. I Have locked the knives away and keep sharp objects such a shovels and scissors out of reach as well

Reasons why our children may become violent

• Being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual abuse

• Exposure to violence in the home or community

• Genetic (family heredity) factors

• Exposure to violence in media
  

• Use of drugs and/or alcohol

• Presence of firearms in your home

• Stressful family socioeconomic factors

• Brain damage from a head injury

• Mental illness

It’s important to get help if you are concerned that your child is acting in a violent manner. I was extremely worried after the wrist cutting episode and so I got in touch with our local Mental Health facility and now my son  is being evaluated on a weekly basis. The plan, I have been told, is to teach my child how to control and express his anger appropriately and be responsible for his actions. Sometimes though, we as parents will say ‘oh that’s normal’ ‘kids fight’ ‘kids will be kids’ and I did do this ‘he is just spoilt’ ‘he’s a boy’ etc, until he went too far and cut himself and then I had to wake up to what was really going on

 

So what are the warning signs we should look out for

(Taken from here )

The presence of one or more of the following increases the risk of violent or dangerous behavior:

• Past violent or aggressive behavior (including uncontrollable angry outbursts)

• Access to weapons

• Bringing a weapon to school

• Past suicide attempts or threats

• Family history of violent behavior or suicide attempts

• Blaming others and/or unwilling to accept responsibility for one's own actions

• Recent experience of humiliation, shame, loss, or rejection

• Bullying or intimidating peers or younger children

• A pattern of threats

• Being a victim of abuse or neglect (physical, sexual, or emotional)

• Witnessing abuse or violence in the home

• Themes of death or depression repeatedly evident in conversation, written expressions, reading selections, or artwork

• Preoccupation with themes and acts of violence in TV shows, movies, music, magazines, comics, books, video games, and Internet sites

• Mental illness, such as depression, mania, psychosis, or bipolar disorder

• Use of alcohol or illicit drugs

• Disciplinary problems at school or in the community (delinquent behavior)

• Past destruction of property or vandalism

• Cruelty to animals

• Fire setting behaviors
  

• Poor peer relationships and/or social isolation

• Involvement with cults or gangs.

• Little or no supervision or support from parents or other caring adult

The more warning signs are present in your child, the greater the risk of violence. However many children will have some of these warning signs and never become violent. Research has shown that children identified as Aggressive at age 8 will tend to be aggressive 30 years later thus becoming adults who are violent to their families, are often in fights, and drive their cars aggressively.


Steps we can take  to lessen  violence in our children

1. Give our children love ... Spend time with them, let them know they have our attention
   
2. Make sure our children are supervised....Know who they are spending time with
   
3. Show our children appropriate behaviors by the way we act... Don't say one thing and do another
   
4. Be consistent about discipline..... and make sure they know what the rules are
   
5. Keep violence out of our home and out of the media’s our children see......Garbage in means garbage out
   

More links to check out 

Dr phil

Violent KIds

Violence in kids