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ADVICE RATING

4.93 (Highly recommend) from 27 votes (1200 Visits)

What makes a good mum, anyway?

(April 2007) (rank 25th)

Had a bit of a revelation today.

I was talking about a friend of mine who's kids are a similar age to mine and we're tag-teaming looking after the kids during the holidays. I was saying how this friend of mine who I'll call K was such a natural mum. She just thinks of things for the kids to do like having "Wacky Wednesday" out of Dr Seuss on Wednesday this week and making crafty dough things they can eat and is always the one organising play dates and such things. I felt like such a dud cause that stuff just doesn't even occur to me most of the time!

Anyway, my friend who I was saying this to - let's call her S - knows us both quite well and she commented that K was just highly organised, even annoyingly so, and she noticed that she could actually be pretty tough on her kids, maybe too much.

That little conversation made me realise that I associate being organised and organising kids-focussed activities as being a good mum. And cause I'm not good at that, I don't think I'm a good mum.

But I realised, I'm much better at getting close to my kids. To reading their emotions and helping them recognise them and dealing with them appropriately. I'm good at being real about the world and being able to teach them about nature and things like that. I'm good at reading to them and giving them hugs and affectionate whenever they need it.

So I guess the point is, being a good mum isn't always what you think it is. I still think K is a good mum, but maybe - even though I'm so different to her - I'm a good mum too.

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ADVICE RATING

4.93 (Highly recommend) from 27 votes

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	May 5th \| boredmum

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

Excellent article,thanks for sharing.

Reply

	May 5th \| cassaustin

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

Great article. I am often compared to my SIL because we have babies 4 months apart. Her house is always neat and tidy, where mine has toys all over the floor. Her washing up is always done where mine will wait til the end of the day. She is a great mum to her Daughter, and i am a great mum to my son. We just do things differently.

Reply

	January 2008 \| exquisite-flower

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

So true!
There are many things that make a good mum, the main one in my opinion is KNOWING your child(ren) and them knowing you in return. I look at other mums and see their money, their families, their jobs and I feel inadequate, but I know that I do the best with what I have, and that is the best anyone can do.
Peace
EF.x

Reply

	October 2007 \| emmie

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

great article

thanks for sharing

luv emz xx

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| July 2007 \| hermy

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

fully agree with what you are saying.....well done ......great advice......regards Sandra xxx

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| July 2007 \| Marglr

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

Good Mom's just love and are there. Try to protect and try to support. Not easy as jobs go,but whatever you do with your kiddies is so worth it. Good article cause we all try and that's what's important.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| sealsista72

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

That's a great question...!!! My boys definitely have their own ideas as I found out on Mother's Day. My nine year old son gave me a "Best Mum in Australia" award for seven reasons. These were, 1: I make good cookies, 2: I let him go to his friend's place, 3: I make him nice lunches, 4: I let him play games, 5: I say good night to him, 6: I wake him up, and 7: I let him buy Hot Wheels cars...!!!

I got it presented like a certificate and it holds pride of place on my lounge room wall next to my computer so I can look at it all the time. My five year old also gave me a cute card which said, I love it when you make bacon and eggs.

So whenever anyone feels like they are not the best Mum they can be, what's most important is what your children think of you and it's not about what you can't do, it's about what you CAN do

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| Rejen

Re: What makes a good mum, anyway?

It's our differences that make us. I'm very creative myself and come up with all sorts of ideas for the kids like making photo books of the people she knows. My friend at Mum's group was feeling worthless because she wasn't as creative as two of us. We sat down and pointed at all the things she was talented at that we weren't necessarily any good at. Things like cooking beautiful healthy food, being so understanding anyone can talk to her about anything, she is sporty and all these things make her special and give her unique skills she can pass on to her daughter. We all feel like bad Mums some days (no one is perfect). The fact is if we are aware enough to feel like this we are probably in the good Mum category. Give yourselves pats on the back - lets face it - we all do the best we can in the circumstances we are given.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| LISA722

organised friend

My sister in-law is like your K and she has 2 MITCHELL 6 AND KELSEA ALMOST 2 and my eldest always loves going around there just because she always seems to find things for them all to do i don't find it to be a bad thing just intimadating that i'm not organised even if i can find things for the kids to do when i have then but my sister in-law works from home she own a TWINKLE TOES business in canberra where we live and with the school holidays that might explain a bit also.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| cookclan

mate I compare myself to organised people

I am far from organised....I live in chaos all the time but hey when they need me I know how to be there...Sometimes I feel guilt due to my friends being able to organise their kids all in activity and stuff but then I realise hey who has a 16 year old and a 2 year old doing crafts anyway hehe...you are a good mum and maybe I am too just as my other friends I know we all are different people with different things that are important to us...
Mwah
Angie

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| vlooi

What makes a good mum anyway?

I used to think I was a really lousy mum because I had no idea how to really PLAY with my children. I thought this was because I never had an example to follow - my mum was most definitely not a good mum, maybe not all her own fault, as she became an alcoholic to be able to cope with her husband. I have since come to understand that children do need to learn to play by themselves - I did not have to spend every living moment with them. What was far more important was that I was actually there for them when they need me and on this front up to now, I think I am doing OK. I try hard with the older ones not to tell them what to do, but only to advise when asked - a LOT easier said than done!! it is a good job we are all different and that is why our children are different.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| dcsmom

It takes all kinds...

Sometimes I feel bad too, I'm just so busy with all the kids. But I think it takes all kinds of parents to make the world go round.

I have a small group of friends with kids my son's age, and we're all different. One mom is more crafty, two moms are more energetic. I'm more of the baker, quiet, reading type.

But it's nice for the kids to have differences, and when we get together, all the differences make for a lot of fun and balance. The differences my friends have, get me a little more motivated to get out of my comfort zone and I know at least one of my mom friends is cooking more, and even managed to get her hubbie to eat healthier because of my advice.

Not one of us is a bad mom, we're just different.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| nell18-3

You're a great Mum Leith

Sometimes we do see these amazing organised mothers and think I wish I could be like that, but if we were to ask our children what they would like to change about us chances are they will say NOTHING!!!
I believe anyone who loves their child unconditionally is a Great Mum

xxx

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| Marlena

Takes all kinds

I think being a good mom takes all different kinds of people and it takes all different kinds of thing. Some people are strong in some areas with there children and not so strong in others. Thats why they say nobody is perfect. I think you are a good mother if your children are happy, and safe. Remember that and don't think you are a bad mom because you aren't. My mother never did crafts or read to us but she was always there for me when I needed her and she still is.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| MadMel

u do!

Ur a great mum :) Great advice :) My days dont have those things either but I know im not a bad mother :) ... most of the time hehe

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| mumof2b

What makes a good mum anyway?

Fantastic Advice! I think we spend too much time comparing ourselves to other mums, whether it's the clothes or toys they buy their kids or the places they take them etc etc. I'm very lucky i have people around me that tell me i'm a good mum so i feel that i'm a good mum. My mum was a single parent bringing up 3 kids and didn't have people around her to tell her she was doing a great job therefore she didn't feel she was a good mum. I make sure i tell her ALL the time what a great job she did. We need to tell ourselves we are great mum's as the more we tell ourselves the more we belive it, and we need to tell other mum's what a great job they're doing as well as they might not hear it either and would really love to hear someone say it.

Reply

	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| lightbee

What makes a good mum anyway?

Hear, hear! We all need to give each other lots of encouragement and positive feedback. You can never have enough, and there's always so much negative stuff - either from other people or just what you say in your own head.

Thanks!

Reply

Related keywords: affectionate, appropriately, conversation, emotions, mum, organised


Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.

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