Because of my son's past behaviour I do not trust him. I never really thought how that made him feel, never really thought he even realised it. I did not encourage him to bring the bins in, get the mail, go to a mates place because I was scared his

impulsive behaviour would endanger him..... This came to a head when my son became depressed and told me that he wanted to go to heaven and one of the reasons was he felt he was a bad kid. That I did not let him help cause he would get it wrong or be bad. Wow. He knew I did not trust him and it hurt him. How could I fix it???

So what I have done is explained that trust is earn't and that he can earn it by being trustworthy. Long discussions but this is working. he now brings the mail in and comes straight back, I am still close enough to help but not on top of him. When he does the wrong thing then its a few days or a week before I trust him again. But mostly he has been great and is much happier.

I guess trust is a  2 way street for him to be trustworthy I have to trust him and give him the opportunity to get it right!