It is a very common problem that children will lie to their parents, friends or guardians and there are ways to help reduce this type of behaviour.

Children will lie for a wide variety of reasons: to avoid getting into trouble, to keep parents happy with them, to cover up for an inadequacy or embarassment, or just because they fail to recognise the difference between reality and their fantasy world.

Teaching a child to be honest take a lot of time and patience.  Here are some techniques that may help:

1.  Avoid setting them up to lie:   Don't ask leading questions, especially in a disappointed tone as your child will know about this tone and try to avoid the follow-up consequences.  If you know (with great certainty) that your child has done something wrong then simply state "I am very disappointed that you did XXXXX", if they respond "I didn't" then avoid getting into a question and answer type debate, simply state the facts upon which you have based your conclusion:  "I saw you do this.... your were the only person in that part of the house... etc etc".  Having stated the facts there must be a consequence for the attempted denial.  Consider sending the child to a room or "time-out" spot to consider what they did and their response to you.  After the time-out encourage the truth from your child and close the matter.

2.  Focus on a solution:  Often it will be an accident that has resulted in the need to lie.  Be careful of always allowing "accidents" as an excuse or everything may become labelled "it was an accident".  Look at what led up to the event and talk about a solution.  "I know that you did not mean to break the lamp but the reason was that you were throwing a big ball in that part of the house and this should not happen any more.  Now lets clean up the mess together..."

3.  Be direct and honest:  If it really sounds like you are being told a lie by your child then tell them so... "That doesn't sound like the truth to me.  Tell me the details please?"

4.  Don't always forgive for the truth: Once you hear the truth you should avoid "instant foregivess"...  "since you told the truth you wont be punished" will not get you far in the discipline game.  Instead focus on the consequences of the event and finding a solution and an appropriate disciplinary result, avoid getting angry in this scenario but remain calm to respect the fact you have heard the truth.  Let the child know that you appreciate them having told the truth but that there still must be consequences, then reinforce to them that if they had lied the consequence would have been a lot worse!

5.  Manage your own expectations:  Often children lie because they don't think they are living up to your expectations.  Take a long hard look at what you expect from your child and see if you should provide a little more wiggle room for their development.  Particularly look at how you respond to their perceived short-comings or inadequacies.

6.  Be a role model:  Don't let yourself fall into the trap of allowing "little white lies" around the home and when you are out.  You child will see everything you do and when you ask your husband to say you are not home if a friend calls then your child will note this and take it as acceptable behaviour.  Every little action counts.

7.  Seek help if it goes too far:  If your child seems to be lying about everything and consistently fails to improve their behaviour consider chatting to your pediatrician or school counselor or other professional for additional ideas to solve the issue.