Bad Mother Syndrome...Working Mums stop feeling the guilt...

I'm really struggling leaving my daughter at daycare and going to work.  I hate leaving her behind. I feel she belongs at home with me but can't afford to stay home with her.  I get no assistance from her father financially so I have to do it all myself.  I know it's not an option stopping work.  I also know that as soon as I can get a 5th day in childcare for her I can get a job with better hours. 4 or 5 hours a day would be plenty. Enough to make ends meet and also give me more time at home. I would love to just do lunch covers (I'm a childcare worker) and work from 10 to 2 or something.  Hannah wants to stay home too, she's tired of going to daycare every day.  She used to enjoy it when it was 3 days a week, but all I could do was casual relief work with limited days and can't do that again as it's too unpredictable.  I just need some advice on other working mothers about how to deal with the guilt of it all when you know you are only doing it because you have to, not because you want to.

Hi there Matey I have seen a couple of times you have written something about the issues you have about working and not being with your daughter etc.. and I came across this when I was researching another topic I wrote about so I thought I would show you and any other parents out there that you and them are not alone in these feelings....

There is actually a name for what you are feeling it is called..."Bad Mother Syndrome"

This is described as the feelings of guilt you feel because you work...Some parents actually think they are bad mums for having to work...The feelings some feel are irrational guilty feelings...And you like many whom suffer with this are pretty much beating themselves up for having to work...

There is no handbook to say that if you stay home you are a good mum and if you work you are a bad mum...we all do things that are what we think are best for our family at the time..Often working mums do not like to talk about it as they feel like they are not shaping up to what a good mum is supposed to be...

It is not okay for mums to feel like this...This can be really destructive to you and also your children... What is the perfect mum anyway?

Mums who work need to work on their mindset of what a good mum is and challenge any thoughts they have that are negative towards their working choices...Force yourself to understand that we as mums are not perfect and all we can do is try as best we can in what we think is best at the time...If you need to work then do so...If you want to work then do so...If you want to stay home then do so...If you need to stay home then do so...

If you are a working mum that is struggling with this and the guilt it sometimes brings on then maybe try to talk to another working mum about it...someone who can really understand you and your thoughts...It is much more healthy to have someone listen to you that knows how you feel that bottling it all up....

My last piece of advice to you is...Drop the guilt..Let yourself off the hook...If you love your children then you will always be a good mum...Trust your instincts on this one...

Hope this has helped you a little...

No one said raising kids was easy lol...
Have a great day
Cheers
Angie