Because of recent events, I've been having to rethink my image of what a good parent looks like. What I found myself meditating on was an image given to me as a child by my mom. Allow me to paint this picture for you now.

The Archer . . .

We, as the parents are represented by the Archer. And it is the Archer's responsibility to skillfully aim the bow and arrow to hit its mark, the bullseye on the target.

Our children are represented by the arrows. Once leaving the bow, we have absolutely no control of how they fly, what affects their trajectory, or even if they reach the target. As soon as we release the arrow from the bow, the best we can do is hope that we've done our part and the arrow hits its mark.

So, as the archers of old, let's focus on what's important.

First, we need to hone our skill. Before ever notching the arrow in our bow, let's be sure that we've done everything we could to assure that our arrows will fly true. Craftmanship was crucial to archers, sparing no expense on getting the best that they could afford, and persistently inspecting the work they were doing to insure the arrows would indeed be able to reach the target.

In translation, what this means is we have to develope the confidence, through whatever means to be able to release the bowstring and rest assured that our arrows will reach the target and hit hit the mark.

Secondly, we need to be able to let go at some point. As parents, just like the Archer, we can only do so much. We can practice, and then practice some more, but when it's time to release, if we're unable to do so, it's just an exercise in futility. Seriously, what good is an archer if he can't let that arrow fly? And in the case of our children, how are they to develope as adults, experiencing life on their own terms, if we persist on being parents?

Once we let go of the bowstring, our role in our children's lives change. Our parental duties are finished. We are still paternal, but we are equals, adults making their way through this thing called life. This is the time to be friends with our children, to share our experiences for them to compare them with their own.