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Three of my children feel it is their duty to protect me
My beloved daughter is 19 and my best friend
My 13 year old Son now feels he is Man of the House
My 9 year old Son who thinks everything is his fault
Why do some children feel they have to protect their parent???
What has happened that they feel it is their duty to protect
Not their right to be protected???
Why do my younger boys feel they have no rights to enjoy their childhood?
Why does my daughter sense my "bad" moments even though she now lives away from home?
Why does my daughter feel such duty and loyalty to me that she will sometimes even feel she has let me down by finding pure happiness for herself?
Why does my daughter put so much pressure on herself with worrying that her younger brothers will one day feel she has abandoned them like their older brother has done?
Why do my younger sons worry about me whilst they are at school and even stand by me when the phone rings at home, just incase I may need them to help or comfort me?
So many questions but only one answer!
All this because they saw their Mum in an abusive relationship that gradually wore me down to such a point, that I almost gave up on life itself.
My poor children.
Will they ever recover?
Can I ever see them enjoy to the maximum the lives they should be living?
When will they all be able to relax and take pleasure from the good things happening to them without worrying when it is all going to go wrong again?
Neither my daughter or my two younger sons can stand the fact that I have been cut off by so many so called friends that have been taken in by the tears of a Man, not afraid to cry, whilst I have become imprisoned in a world of fear and rejection. A world where I am seen to be the Liar. A world where they think their Mum is hated by the community whilst the Man they saw hurt their Mum is still being accepted by everyone and respected by everyone too.
How this hurts them all is so painful.
I would love for my younger boys to be able to look at me without feeling guilt that they didn't stop some of the events they have already had to endure.
I would love for my daughter to find a way of letting her anger go before it suffocates her.
I yearn for the day when my daughter and young sons will accept that they too can have and deserve to have a happy life without worrying about me.
What Can I Do To Help Them?
There is only one thing I can do
Take back the reins for my own life and look forward again with a positive and fresh way of looking at things.
Encourage my younger boys to be children again and not take on the responsibilities and pressures that should only be thrust on adults.
Release my daughter by not telling her all my little anxious moments, leaving her free to relax and enjoy her new life
But Most Importantly
Love Them with the Love that totally frees them and they know is 100% unconditional and never ending.
(May 2007) (
