When home decorating, how often have we taken the short cut

A quick flick over with the paintbrush and you are done

The finished effect is great

But how long does it last

Sooner or later those cracks will come through again

And

your left with an even bigger job to complete it

Looking back over my marriage, I now can see that I did this kind of quick repair job so many times.
But it won't work!
To repair any relationship that has cracks in it the only way to get rid of the cracks is a thorough clean up job.
You may have to dig around in that problem area until all the contaminated feelings and emotions are totally removed.
What are you left with

An Even Bigger Hole!!!!!

But then the real repairs can work, you fill that gaping hole with fresh emotions, fresh feelings, spend time on it, take care with it, and sooner or later after putting much more effort you are once again able to see a smooth surface, eventually you won't even remember those cracks let alone see them coming through again. Because you did the repairs properly.

Lots of quick repair jobs are a waste of time and have no value or long term benefits.
Sometimes only one small obstacle in the way can leave an even bigger crack then the one we were originally trying to repair.

This is just like Home Decorating.

If there is a crack or hole in the wall, you cannot just slap paint on top and hide it, you have to chisel away at the debris and then fill the hole with new and tougher plaster, you allow it time to set before you touch it, only when it is dry and looks permanent do you then put the decoration on the top. To do that before, will leave a rough surface, or the plaster won't have had chance to set properly causing air bubbles or dents that are still noticeable.

Only amateurs would decorate in this way.

Professionals will always tell you that time and preparation is the key to getting a good job done.

Constantly painting over the cracks, just means sooner or later you will have a bigger mess to sort out.

If there is any thing I have learnt from my whole experience in the last couple of years with an abusive relationship. It is this:
 
Be honest always with your emotions.
Follow your instincts.
Take Time to get it right
Be patient
Use the right "filler" and the right "tools"
Don't leave it too long
Make sure you clear all the debris away

Beware of it all crumbling away and hurting others along the way

For a long time I had huge doubts that I was in an healthy relationship
But I did nothing
I had been too "conditioned"

By the time I came to my senses to get out!
It was too late and my beautiful children were already covered in debris.

Repairing a relationship is possible, no matter how bad it was

But you cannot re build it alone

No matter what the problem was, it will take the two of you to do a good repair job and no matter how long it takes to rebuild, you work together and if you are out of your depth.
Call in a Professional to Help You

But you can NEVER fix a relationship on your own