this is my advice, please dont think im a slut or skank, please dont judge me this has been a hard advice to write as i have gone back in time.. but I hope it helps..
As always, I was grounded that sunday, i couldnt even go for
a walk, it was such a beutiful sunny blue sky day! i begged my parents to let me go for a walk, but they firmly told me I cant till my grounding was overand was only alowwed in house and back yard. Intill at lunchtime when "he" rang up and asked if i wanted to go for a walk, my instinks said No! i did NOT want to go!! something was about to happen and i was terrified..
you see a year before we had been living in a another place and our property was connected to a flat where "he" lived. My parents were good friends with him, they trusted in him and called him a good person, he went to thir church as well.AS my parents were very protecive, I was groundeed alot! 8 months of that year..I was a fustrated, angry, teenager just wanting freedom.Thats when he would come in,he would tell my parents he will take me to go for a walk but instead take me to see a friend or my boyfriend.whenever he heard me crying would find me and comfort me and take my side,when i was angry would try calm me down and listen to me.I thought he would he was a great friend someone i could trust.We would talk for hours we would chat about everything, as I wasnt allowed out of my property it was some freedom. He then started to talk more sexuall, when i turn up for a walk in something not hot he would tell me how i look ugly in what im wearing and how would my boyfriend think when he saw me, he wouldnt want me no more.He would then tell me our walks would be sacrfices to him, that he could of done something better but he cares so will give me freedom and how he has been giving in his life and not returning,how I was very selfish of taking up someones time, he made me feel so guilty! he told me I was getting too fat and need to diet thats why my boyfriend is flirting with another girl. he talked alot about his sexuall exsperiances and put me down as someone who wouldnt know how to please.He was a photographer, and he told me i would be a beautiful model and I had talent and was very sexy,he really wanted to take photos of me. every conversation was eithersexuall or how to change me to become a better hotter person, to decieve my parents to think im doin something when i was doin a totally different thing.
He would call me when he saw my family go out and tell me to come over where he would show me stripper movies and told me how to wear something more appearling, dance more sexually, for my boyfriend and be the hottest girl around to blow his mind and so he wont cheat on me.
Things got worse, i would have him feeling my breasts as payment for getting me out of the house and would punish me by not taking me out for a walk for a week if i made a fuss.i also got photos done , it was only ment for my boyfriend and in payment he will tell my parents that i was goin for big walk with him but he would drop me off at my boyfriends and I would be able to get to see my friends and him.Those photos of me was very sexy, in dif underware, dif poses, and topless.It did not go to my b.f, it went to what I found out to a friend of his in england for a magazine.I was only 14. he kept on tellin me how he wanted to have sex with a 14 year old it was his fantacy, one day he called me over to his house and he had his privite part flopped out and told me to suck it, i was aghast he then told me I will be useless in bed and wouldnt be able to please anyone that no guy would ever want to be with me and its all my fault! we moved thank god 3 weeks afterwards to a dif place but a couple months later guesse who moved down the road...
he would ring me alot and walk past my house telling me that a stripper and a promotional person has got in touch with him and want to see me, that a friend in england wants some photos of me as well, i would hang up the phone or walk away..
back to the start.. my parents forced me to go that day. i was screaming and crying not to go. but they forced me.i got raped that day.
so please DONT FORCE YOUR CHILD TO GO SOMEWHERE WHEN THEY REALLY DO NOT WANT TO GO!!! YOU NEVER KNOW WHATS REALLY GOIN ON, MY PARENTS HAD NO IDEA INTILL I CAME OUT AND TOLD THEN 2 YEARS LATER..
PLEASE DONT BE SO OVERPROTECTED TO A TEENAGER, DONT TAKE AWAY FREEDOM LIKE A WALK, OR THEY ARE STUCK IN THE HOUSE.. IT WAS SOO HARD FOR ME AND WANTED FREEDOM AND GOT INTO A MESS AND DIDNT EVEN KNOW..
TRUST YOUR INSTINCT, IF IT TELLS YOU SOMETHING IS GONNA GO WRONG TRUST IT!
CAUSE ALL THE WAY I WALKED TO HIS HOUSE I KNEW THAT I WAS WALKING RIGHT INTO DANGER AND WAS LIKE MY DEATH SENTACE, TRUE I DIDNT DIE BUT PART OF ME DID THAT DAY...
hope it helped
(May 2007) (
Lexi xxx
