ADVICE RATING |
 4.59 (Highly recommend) from 7 votes (109 Visits) |
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Sometimes....do we expect too much of our kids? |
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by sluxton  (June 2007) (rank 120th) |
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My kids are young - they are 4 and 3, but sometimes I forget this - actually, often, I forget this.
I forget that their attention span is narrow and short and that if I ask them to do something - like brush their teeth or get dressed or
eat their dinner whilst their tv show is on, that they should do it.
I forget that although they can do all these things of their own accord when their attention is focussed on it that their little minds wander so easily.
When I get frustrated, I forget that they are still dealing with the skills they have learnt and have yet to learn what is apt and that they have no self control when it comes to tempation by a toy or a tv program or hunger or thirst or touching something of a different texture - all the menial things that we take for granted and as adults are able to refocus on what our task is at that given moment.
Once I'm frustrated and overtaken by the emotion that they should be listening and respecting me and getting agitated and starting to yell at them, I forget their little hearts that really are in the right place to do the right thing by me and when they are starting rebel against me are rebelling against my lack of patience only, not me personally.
As I start to cool down, take a step back, and talk to them about what is really occupying them , I manage to recapture their attention, take the focus off my selfish "you will respect me, my voice, what I am asking you to do, just because I ask and I am your Mother!" attitude. They communicate more with me. We are able to sort out an amicable resolution and they end up doing as I ask.
Learning to take this step back is big long hard lesson for me, and hurtful I'm sure for my children. Take this tip. Try to take the step back. Talk to them as much as possible. Dont worry about time frames. They are more important than that. Our egos can wait. We dont have to give in to them. We just have to teach them how to stand their ground by displaying it ourselves, in the most calm way.
It's hard. I'm still struggling with it. I think I'm getting there. I forget when I get so caught up that they are just 4 and 3. They dont have the cognitive skills that I have yet and are not always testing me. They just get preoccupied with everything else around them. I do expect too much from this perspective.
