Well said!

I was never able to breastfeed my kids for more than a few weeks. Mainly because of milk production issues. I had a nice nurse that told me that as long as your baby recieves some of the colostrum, thats good enough. Out of all 3 of my kids, only one suffered horrible problems growing up, and some of it was due to allergies I found out later. I respect and admire mommies that breastfeed thier babies for months or years..but just because a woman uses formula, she should not be considered less of a mother for it. 

Hi Angie,

There are a lot emotions in the issue of breastfeeding. Just as it is very emotional to battle infertility it is very emotional to struggle with breastfeeding problems. In the end the mothering is more important than the milk but breastfeeding is an important and the most readily available natural avenue  (although not the only avenue)  parents have for learning about the needs of babies and young children.

For intance breastfeeding imposes mother-baby togetherness on the mother and biologically speaking the mother's body and breast are the natural habitat for the baby. This has vast implications of which most parents are unaware. (See Nils Bergman's presentation at  ILCA, the education self-study modules web page)

So even though in modern times mothers can choose to be away from their babies and toddlers and still breastfeed thanks to breast pumps at least by reflecting on the act of direct breastfeeding  mothers can see that mother-baby separation is an unnatural situation from a biological point of view, and that deviating from nature might have some negative consequences.

Most mothers don't really enjoy pumping and so pumping discourages mother-baby separation which is another way of saying breastfeeding encourages mothers to be more physically present to their baby than they might otherwise be if they were just making a purely intellectual or economic decision about how much time to spend with their babies.

Now there are a small number of women who have a hiccup in their biology and despite the best evidence-based breastfeeding medicine they will not be able to produce milk, but these mothers if they are taught the importance of mother-baby togetherness can mimic breastfeeding mothering behaviors while bottle-feeding so that their babies get as close as possible to the same "habitat" that they would have gotten while breastfeeding.

Many mothers who adopt babies these days are inducing lactation not just for the milk but for all of the related benefits of the breastfeeding "habitat" and mothering choices that the mothering hormones, oxytocin and prolactin produce.

An interesting element to your story is that your mom was able to breastfeed your sibling which means she learned a lot about mothering through breastfeeding the first time which she was able to apply to her mothering of you. She mostly likely mothered you in a very similar fashion as your sib because she applied everything she learned through breastfeeding to her mothering of you even though lactogenesis didn't commnece the way it should have after you were born.

In all likelihood she had undiagnosed gestational diabetes with you, but even if she was daignosed no one knew at that time that glucose metabolism is very important to milk-making. Today moms with delayed lactogenesis due to gestational diabetes (or other kinds of diabetes) can be treated with glucophage.

Another interesting facet of your story is your sib's issues. We know from population based studies that breastfed populations are not free of problems but we also know from these studies that breastfeeding while it can not cure every problem can ameliorate them. So while your sib had issues the issues probably would have been worse without breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is optimal nutrition and immunological support and most all medical conditions are ameliorated by optimal nutrition.

My mom was only able to nurse me briefly because she got lots of bad advice about scheduling breastfeeding 3 to 4 hours apart, but with my sib she was able to nurse 9 months because she had a community of support and good advice of other mothers through La Leche League.

When a mom has enough kids whether they were all breastfed or all bottle-fed she is going to see that they all come into this world with advantages and deficits. When you look at it this way you can see it was a bit of good luck that your mom was able to breastfeed her baby who probably needed it the most.

I am sorry for all moms who attempted breastfeeding but abandoned it because it wasn't going well. I was one of those moms with my first baby. With my second I got great help from a savy lactaion consultant. lactation consultants are like any other group of health professionals, some are great and some are mediocre. When a mom is not helped by the first board certified lactation consultant she sees she needs to go to another one. Sometimes she might need even to look for a third.

Nursing is a normal part of motherhood just as intercourse is a normal part of being married. When there are problems with intercourse being painful or not achieving pregnancy we turn over every rock we can in trying to find a solution. Only a very few women really have to accept that their breastfeeding problems cannot be fixed, just as only a very few couples have to settle for a life without intercourse or biological children, and we should support and grieve with those moms just as we wouold support and grieve with the infertile couple. 

Ultimately the mothering is more important than the milk, just as the parenting of a child is more important than sharing the same DNA with the child, but we can get the hierarchy of values right mothering and parenting, ahead of breastfeeding and pregnancy, without dismissing entirely the beauty and fulfillment  that comes with pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding.

Thanks Angie,  It can't be said enough.  As long as the baby is fed and loved and safe, nothing else matters.

Angela

Kudos on the great article! I think the breastfeeding debate is a really important topic and as such there are a lot of people out there throwing around uneducated opinions. I was breastfed and as far as I know it's had no adverse effects on me whatsoever. While personal preference is crucial when deciding how to care for your child, it's also vital that women AND men get the facts and not just base their ideals on heresay.

Well done on a great article. I'm too sick of all the articles that only say breast is best. Youre right though about how people try and say that their children are smarter etc if they're breast fed, but all mine were on the bottle, because i couldn't produce any milk for any of my 5 children. I wouldve like to breast fed at least one of them, but i couldn't.

All my kids are bright, smart etc, and they've turned out perfectly alright. The one's that are at school, are above average, and are doing some of the next year level in class, and coping very well.

My youngest child though, is good with hands on things. She can beat anyone doing this, but she's got a speech problem called dyxpraxia, and she's behind in speech but speech therapists at her kindy are working on her, and has come along way.

I also avoid breast feeding topics as they annoy me also.

Another great article cookclan. Keep them coming. Most enjoyable, and so full of the truth. Well done

Great article Angie!  Thanks for sharing and helping mothers out there who choose to feed formula and yet by doing so - are made to feel guilty about doing so! 

I bottlefed my first - only cause the "breastfeeding is so easy, so much better" thing - didn't work for me.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and my son just wouldn't take to it.  So he was bottlefed.  With my second I perservered on the breast and she was bf up til 10mths where she totally weaned herself and is now on formula.  It really comes down to not what others think but what is best for the mum and bub and also - what works best.  

You know how they say bf children have higher immunities ... well, I have a friend who bf all her 4 children up to the age of 3 and they would have to be the sickest family I know.  They are always getting allergies, colds, bugs etc!  Someones' been telling furbies in the medical industry    I think bf and formula have their pros and cons.  Again I say, do what works best for you, your bub and your sanity!

Great Advice!

Great advice Angie... But I really wish the IQ and health issues wouldn't come into play when discussing breastfeeding and bottlefeeding. Why have I chosen to breastfed my 2 children? Probably because I enjoy it, and they do too. I also do it for convenience. I haven't done it so they don't get sick (we all get sick) and I haven't done it so they are the most intelligent people at school. Why mother's chose to breast feed or bottle feed is their own decision and one that no one should try to interfere with. There are really only two people who can decide whats best... The mum and bub.

wa hey well done angie well  said great advice

luv emz x

Great article Angie

Well said

I think there is far too much pressure on new Mums to do the "right thing"

The right thing is to do what works for you and the baby now what makes society happy.

I breastfed all four of mine, however my daughter gave up after a few weeks as it was not working for us

Breastfeeding is an individual choice for each Mum and their baby

xxx

I have to agree with your article with the breast feeding debate. I was bottle fed and had problems with allergies and I didn't finish school to know how I did...

Then I had my daughter at 18 and I was determined to be a good younger mother and I breastfed her and she suffered allergies. Then having to go back to work I decided to put her on the bottle as it was more convienient than pumping and she grew heathy and was happy. She is now 16 and at the top of her class.     My other 3 have been breast fed with the exception of my 6 yr old , having radiation I had to stop and put him on the bottle and he is the healthiest bundle of joy.

After all life is about choices and we have the free will to choose what we feel is right for our lives and situations. Being a parent is hard enough without the guilt trips. Don't you agree...

Great article and well done but you will  find lots of opions on this topic!

Well all i have to say on this matter is i didnt get a choice,  my babies decided for me so im not for or against breastfeeding!  In one hospital they were all for breastfeeding and the other all for bottle but hey who is going to tell us what to do!!!  Both my kids ended up on the bottle  and i cant complain and if it wasnt for the bottle with my first she would probely not survived and the next one just didnt like it .  Well done!! Hugz Tee

Well done Angie.....Great article.....You certainly have a way with words,

that's why your articles always make for great reading. Thanks.

On that note....I have done both...breastfed 1 child and bottlefed 1 child.

The only difference is the price....Formula is not cheap...lol

GREAT ARTICLE ANGIE ,, I HAVE DONE IT BOTH WAYS ,, THE ONLY REASON WHY I DID BREAST FEED IN THE FIRST PLACE WAS JUST FOR THE ANTIBODIES FOR BUBBA ...

YOU ARE SOO RIGHT NOT EVERYONE IS ABLE TO BREAST FEED AND THEY SHOULDNT BE PUT DOWN FOR THAT EITHER ,, WE ALL GOT STORIES AND WANT TO DO THE BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN AND WE WILL HAVE TO KEEP DOING THE BEST WE CAN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES ,, LOVING AND NUTRURING THEM AND TEACHING THEM ...I NEVER HERD THAT BECAUSE YOU BREASTFEED THAT THEIR IQ;S HIGHER ,,, IF THAT WAS TRUE THEM CAUSE I BREASTFEEB MY TWINS THEY SHOULDNT BE AS FAR BEHIND AS THEY ARE RIGHT NOW AND MY TWO YEAR OLD SHOULDNT BE AS GIFTED AS HE IS ,, DOSENT MAKE MUCH SENCE TO ME

ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERNT

Great Article Angie as always,very well written. Mothers done need anymore pressure put on them, just as long as the baby is healthy and happy that's all that matters.

 Regards janice

Great article Angie, thanks for getting this message out there. This is exactly what I wanted to say but couldn't find the words. I breastfed then bottlefed both of my kids but the guilt that I received once the bottle came out was very hard to take. I think we have enough "mother guilt" the moment we become mothers, and this is just one more added drama that is not needed.Thanks Angie a little guilt is relieved just by reading this

xx's Rach

Thumbs up to you Angie

I have bottle fed 2 kids and breastfed 2 kids.

 With Joshua, I had had NO sleep in 48 hrs, a b/friend in one ear saying you have to breastfeed and my mother in the other ear saying, do what you like, what makes you feel comfortable.

With Lachlan, I put him straight on the breast after he was born. I hated the feeling, there was NO mother-son bond there and I just couldn't do it. I had also been through this labour without my husband, a very emotional time.

But.... with Dylan I decided to give it a go. I told my hubby and best friend in the labour room to turn around and not to watch me. In the first few weeeks, I also told everyone to mind their own business and I would appreciate not being disturbed while I was feeding. He fed till 5 mths, as I was so proud of myself for getting that for and giving it a go. With Shanae, there was NO question about it.... I would be breastfeeding and I got to 6 mths with her.

It broke my heart to stop, but as I'm not a keen water drinker my supply went BYE BYE. 

To all you mothers who bottle feed, GOOD ON YA and to breastfeeding mothers, GOOD ON YA TOO.

I don't hold it against anyone who chooses to bottle feed, cause I've been there and every mother has the right to choose which way they want to feed their baby.

Thanks Angie for writing this advice, I think you have done a superb job. Cheers to ya

 Shelley

My experience with breast feeding was not good and made so much worse by the clinic nurses and midwives at the hospital.

My milk did not come in for 6 days and NO they would not give my Baby milk. He lost a huge amount of wieght was totally dehydrated and cried all day and all night. A  midwife finally gave him formula after I cried and pleaded. She still pointed out I was making the wrong decision for my Baby. Shame on me wanting to feed my starving child!

I did breastfeed when I got home and the clinic nurses kept telling me he was fine even though not putting on wieght and always unsettled. They said he was a petite baby as I am. By 9 weeks I put him on formula as well as breast milk and he has only powered ahead since. He has shot up on the growth chart when whilst only breastfed he went side ways on it.

At playgroup about 10 Mum's were having this discussion and 7 of the 10 had the same problem as me.

Breast feeding is good but it DON'T work for everyone and I am horrified that my baby was starved and had such a bad start to his life all for me being forced to do "the right thing"

They have also just had the debate on a tv show not long ago about the IQ thing. It is proven it has nothing to do with being breastfed AT ALL!!!

Sorry it's a long comment!

Thank you so much for doing this Angie.....

Both my boys were bottle fed for my own reasons, it shouldn't matter to anyone else why I did it, my boys are healthy, loved and as I said in the Q & A ,very intelligent.  It hurts when people pass judgement and tell you, you should be doing this and doing that......People can have their opinions as long as it isn't crossing the line to telling people what is right and wrong and forcing opinions!

Angie, I can't thank you enough....you're amazing!! I think you've said it for all us Mother's that bottle fed our babies.....

Amanda xxx

Great article,totally agree 100%,I breast fed my babies for at least the first 8 weeks as I was told that it is best for baby and to give them the best start in life,usually after about that time with my 2 youngest children ,my body could not produce enough milk to satisfy my baby so they both went onto formular.Both these boys have problems ,one is an asthmatic and the other has learning difficulties posible ADD,we are in the middle of  him being assessed for it.My oldest son now 15 has been on medication for ADHD since he was 7 he also had asthma for a few yrs until he grew out of it and had a lot of ear infections when he was younger,and he was breast fed for 6 months until he started biting ,and after a few to many bites I took him off and put him on to boiled cows milk and pentivite.He already had a very good appetite for solids.Now after  my daughter was born (now 12)I suffered from Post Natal Depression so after 4 months of breast feeding I could not cope any longer and put her onto boiled cows milk also with pentivite.I started feeding all my children solids at 4 months,yes and others may not agree with this also but hey my choice.My daughter is my brightest and healtiest child and she was fed boiled cows milk from 4 months.I think it is all in the genetic make up and no amount of breast feeding is going to stop them from getting asthma or add or learning difficulties.What do you think we were fed on back in my age group if our mothers could not breast feed boiled cows milk or the old fashioned sunshine powdered milk.So these are my opinions nobody has to agree with me but i do not expect to be judged for it either ,as my children are now 15,soon to be 13 ,9 and 7 so they are not babies and is purely from my experience as a breast feeding ,formular feeding and boiled cows milk mother .                                                       

                                                               Cham