Mostly with my boy I use time out and withdrawal of privledges. But often my boy would say why?? often I hate you, why are you being so mean stopping me using the playstation. It became apparent to me that he really did not understand or perhaps remember why he

So, we started a journal. When he is good, I write in blue/black what he did right. EG: ate all tea, did homework, was honest, checked who was at the door before opening it ,,etc etc .

when he is naughty I write in red. Eg: swore, shouted at mummy, lied, etc etc

When he says I hate you why did you take my playstation away (which is rarely says now cause the book is a reminder). I say excuse me Shane look at your journal how much red was there today. Shane will 9/10 times say to me, I did the wrong thing mum.

He has now started doing good things deliberately to get extra blue lines in his book. He asked "could I leave the table" at my mums house yesterday, he then looked at me and asked if that was worth a blue line!!!

His behaviour is always difficult due to various health problems but I have found that having the book and being able to see and understand why he is being punished and why he gets rewards has helped dramatically.

The first week loads of red writing, now on minimal. He gets rewards if he has no red writing. the reward may be anything from watching a video with Mum to going to the cinema or park depends on the circumstances.

Now mummy and shane are both much happier. I feel like I am being fairer and acknowledging what he does right as well as what he does wrong and Shane feels the same.