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Saying "No" to a child had to be one of the harest words said. And even harder for a child to understand and take in. Because usually if a child asks for something, they normally recieve - so
when the word "No" is said they are confused to "Why Not"
I found giving a "Reason or a Explanation" for my response of "No" helped.
e.g. If the request. was for a snack before a meal; following the word "No" - I would say i don't think that's a good idea as you will fill your tummy and you won't eat your
meal ( lunch or dinner). Especially when they were younger and i'm talking toddlers- I would use the snack as a reward for eating their meals.
( I know this is off the subject but i use to try and make their meals fun; sausages or frankfurts; i use to cut up, to make a wooden shack or castle.
Vegetables; mash potato into a face using peas & carrots or make a moat around the castle using many vegetables.)
e.g. I'm sure many mum's have had this happen to them, while shopping for groceries. Your child spots a toy ( using toy as an example). If you mum's are anything like
i was, finding it hard stretching the shopping dollar- buying a toy was not an option.
So my reason for "No" in those cases they (toys) are for special occasions birthday or xmas and if we were to buy the toy we wouldn't be able to buy food to eat.
I use to keep a "Wish list" for my children, whenever they spotted something they thought they really wanted - we would write it in their "Wish List" book. Then when a birthday or xmas came around they would be asked which item they really wanted on their wish list. And nine out of ten times it was something completely different.
But in doing their wish list, i was not ignoring their " Wants & thoughts", plus i was not actually saying "No" to them but "Maybe".
Regards Janice
(June 2007) (
