The Runaway Teen...The things we did to try to stop it again...

There is pretty much two reasons why kids run away from home...No matter what reason it is, as I am sure there are many they all seem to fit into to main reasons...

They are usually running away from something...A person at home, a bad situation at home, something they thought was a threat, abuse, a disipline decision they thought was unfair, and sometimes teens run from a loving caring home because they feel there is nothing there for them, No excitement...

Or they can be running to something...The excitement of the unknown, A boy/girlfriend,  A life where they answer to no one one with no rules, to independance where they can be thier own boss, Or even running to a safer place in some cases...

When my eldest ran away there were alot of warning signs he was going to do this...He was hanging with a crowd that lived with no rules while he still had them and he wanted the carefree life they had...He would constantly argue with me and became very defiant and antisocial around the family...But I just saw these as normal teen behaviour...One night after talking to him about his behaviour I told him it was unacceptable to talk the way he does and that I know he wanted to have the freedom his mates had but I just couldn't allow it and feel right about it..He had plenty of time to grow up and at 15 it was not what he should be doing...The talk seemed to go well but a half an hour after the talk I went down and found he had taken off...Run away from home...In search of a freer life as he saw it...

I found him obviously and we talked in a different way...This is the time I learnt that I had to be a little more not lenient but understanding to his wants and needs as he grew up through the teen years...I had to bend just that little bit without breaking my own morals and rules...I had to tell him my opinions without trying to get him to have the same opinions and feelings as me...This was really hard and probably a thing that helped in our communication that we have now...

When talking to your teenager always treat them with the respect you want them to treat you with..Do not raise your voice even if they are yelling at you...Make eye contact while being calm and quiet and give them time to calm down let them yell at you and go into their rage... You just stay calm...Never interupt...You don't like them to do it to you so don't do it to them...Wait until they are finsihed even if you know you still are going to say no or disagree...Make sure you understand what they are saying...Tell them it is okay to understand what people are saying and it is okay for people to understand each other but not agree...Always ask them if there is anything else they want to tell you...

Because talking to your teen can be emotionally draining it is important that you know your limits...Tell your teen that I think we need a drink and a quick break from this right now...Lets just have a break for a bit I think we are both a bit upset and we can't work things out when we are like this...Time out from each other can keep emotions in line...

These are just my thoughts on what has helped us to keep things in check when it comes to trying to prevent the whole running away...The kids now understand that if they feel running away is the option they want then if they talk to us first and try to sort something we are willing to try to understand them...This is a really important thing in raising teens I think...

Thanks for reading
Cheers
Angie