Bulimia...My story and the signs...

This is just something I want to share with you all as I have been there myself...Even though I was not an overweight teen I was talller than most of my friends and a bigger build...By grade 9 I was almost 6 foot and towered over most of my classmates and most boys...I had big thighs...I loved sport and they were always big and yuck...I know now it was because of the amount of sport I played and the running I did but back then all I thought it was was fat and yuck and I never looked nice in the clothes the other girls wore...Back in the eighties when I was a teen bubble gum jeans were in and mine never looked straight up and down like all the other girls...All I could see were my chunky thighs...

It was a constant pain to me and I made a friend who was a grade lower than me...She came and stayed for the night and when we were up talking and giggling she asked if we could get some snacks and have some things to eat I asked her what she wanted and she said to me aren't you going to eat...I said no as I did't want to put anymore weight on in my legs...She told me don't worry about it I will show you how to eat and not put weight on at all...So we got a heap of snacks and munched out big time in the lounge room...Pigging out to the max on sweets and saviouries I even ate a whole french onion dip....YUMMO...

After we  had finished our binge of snacks she said come on I will show you what to do and we went outside into the yard near some shrubs on the fenceline...She leant over and stuck her fingers in her mouth...She promptly threw up...She told me she does it all the time...It worked for her so that night I sent myself into a whole new world as I stuck my fingers down my throat I had trouble throwing up and had to do it a few times to get it to happen...But I did...It worked and as I stood back and looked at the vomit on the ground I felt good about the fact I had enjoyed my feed and didn't have to worry about the calories...

This was my first time at doing this but would not be my last...I would do this on a regular basis throughout my teenage years and throwing up became easier and easier as time went by...I got to the stage where I could vomit on call...I didn't need to put my fingers in my throat anymore...I could binge then purge without a problem...No body knew I was doing it and I was not putting those calories into my body to get even fatter...What I saw as fat anyway....

Unfortunately when I was doing this I didn't take into consideration the problems it would give me in my sport and daily life you see I loved sport and running and swimming...One day in the middle of the cross country run I felt dizzy and all of a sudden passed out...The ambulance was called and I was taken to the hospital for observation as they thought I was dehydrated...Mum came up to me and could not understand why I would let myself get this way...I loved to run and I knew I had to keep the fluids up...A doctor talked to me and then all of a sudden a psychologist was in the room talking to me about Bulimia and asking me if I purged....All I remember asking them is who told them how did they know and my mum crying as she never noticed what I was doing....

With the help of a psychiatrist I overcome my need to binge and purge but even now if I eat a whole cheescake as a comfort type of eat which I do often I find myself battling with wanting to throw it up...I know its wrong but I still feel that urge to want to...That is my story but now I want to share some signs to keep an eye out for...

If your child has an un natural worry about their body weight...I wasn't fat I had muscles but not a bit of fat on me...I counted calories alot I even bought a little book to show me how to...Some people with eating disorders even use diet pills to help them like laxatives...I was a person who threw up after a binge...I would wake at night and raid the cupboard for anything I wanted and eat huge amounts of it and then purge the whole lot...I would tell my mum I wasn't hungry at meal times as I knew I would binge that night...I fainted a fair bit as well for what seemed like no reason...

Having bulimia was really hard to overcome and getting to like my body the way it was, was even harder...We all need to keep an eye on things that go on in our childrens lives...People with this disorder are really good at hiding what they are doing...If you suspect one of your children is doing this then talk to your family doctor and ask him to check your child out rather than approaching them yourself...I was one of the lucky ones as the girl who showed me how to throw up for body image was not as lucky as me...She is still at 35 in and out of hospital fighting her bulimia and annorexia now also....

Just wanted to share with you all...
Thanks for reading
Have a great day
Cheers
Angie