My 13 year old has had problems at school
Apparently his teachers think he has a bad attitude
They think he has become sullen and rude
And angry and argumentative
Do they know my son at all???
He is just hurt, confused and ...................a teenager!!!!!
Thankfully its all sorted out now, but have had a bit of a journey with my 13 year old over the last few weeks.
I didnt even know he was struggling at school. Everytime I asked him how his day had been I would get that wonderful, stereo-typical teenage response of......."FINE"
Then I had a letter ............. it started a couple of weeks ago, when he had extra detention from his RE teacher, apparently the class was asked the question "Why did God create us???"
Quick as a flash my son answered "To make our lives Hell!!!!"
Now whilst I don't approve of his saying this, I do at the same time, totally understand why he would have said this. Life was pretty grim at the time, with not a sign of that light at the end of the tunnel.
Another time, some practical homework was not handed in on time, and i got another letter home, when I spoke to my son, he was very upset the school had contacted me, he wanted to handle it himself. He had missed the deadline after spending each evening after school helping me sort out the house and packing and didn't want to give me something else to worry about.
Another letter was with regard to him falling out with another classmate who had laughed at him because he was having a support worker visit him at school my son got angry at the teasing and he was the only child to get into trouble over the incident, so my son told the teacher what he thought of his teaching methods!!!!!!!! (whoops!)
Now I am not excusing any of my sons behaviour, i teach him to be always respectful of others and their opinions and never to talk disrespecfully to someone in a position of authority. But I do understand why he is not his normal self.
I decided to go direct to some of the teachers, I made it clear that they weren't getting the best out of Thomas at the moment, as yelling at a child, with his history, after what he has been through, was not the way to get the best out of any child. I also got his counsellor to step in with the school, he went straight to the head of my son's year and they have now get a system in place with him.
The teachers have all been told some of my sons present situation and family background
My son is allowed to be taken to the year head to discuss any issues brewing before there becomes a problem
His homework is written out for me to check that he does not fall behind
Teachers have been told to be more tolerant of any mood changes they witness from him
The result is that my son now once again looks forward to school, he is more relaxed. I am getting no more letters about detentions and we are all working together for the good of my sons education and self esteem
If you have any problems with your child at school. Always discuss it with the teachers, don't be fobbed off, insist on a productive plan and make sure your child knows you are fighting for them and willing them to get on
(June 2007) (
I moved again 6 months later so it wasnt a lasting problem for me, but it certainly held the potential to ruin my life.
Amanda xx