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Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...

cookclan by cookclan Young Parent(June 2007) (rank 10th)
I dont know how many times Ken and I have told our teenagers they can do something and told them the rules of how it can be done and what times is curfew etc...and the kids have turned to us when the event is closer or that day and told us
that those are not the rules we have said before....

I have a bit of a bad memory...and if I can not remember exactly what has been said just the gist of it usually...Ken has a memory that is called a selective memory Lol...So it is sometimes hard for him to remember things too...So recently this is what we have done to help us and our teens to actually remember what was agreed on in the first place...

Have you ever written up a type of agreement with you child? This is what we are trialing at the moment in out house and it seems to be working...

First when one of the kids ask if they can go somewhere etc...we talk about it just Ken and I and write out what we think is fair etc with rules curfews and things like that...

Then we go to the child in question and ask them to read over them...We then give them the opportunity to dispute anything we have thought as fair and will adjust it if we think they have a good case...We usually put the curfew a bit earlier so we have room to comprimise lol...Then they think they have gotten a little more than we wanted to give them...

When it is all sorted we then give them a copy and we keep one for us....So then when it comes to the time for them to go the rules of the event are all in black and white and we can hear no more of ifs buts and maybes from that teenager involved...

Things were getting so bad here that we were being told that we had said we would let them stay till this time or that we would give them a certain amount of dollars when we did not remember any money discussions coming into it and this way there can be no question about what has actually been discussed at all...It is kind of like a contract between us and them...

This sort of thing sometimes works in schools for behavouir so that is where we got our idea on this...The kids seem to be happy with it and so are we...So I thought I would share this here with all of you...So if you are having trouble with this sort of thing with your teen why not try a  contract with them...

Have a great day
Cheers
Angie
Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.
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Kre
February 2008 | Kre
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...

I have been trying to start something like this for a long time now but all i get is 'sighs' or 'ok tomorrow we will write a list.......'

You have just help me make my mind up and i'm going to insist on a trial run hehe... Thankyou

 



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FremantleDocker
5.00 (Excellent) | August 2007 | FremantleDocker
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
Sounds like a briliant idea. Will have to try this on my kids. I'm sure it will work wonders eventually.


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blackwidowkate
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | blackwidowkate
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
Hi
Cool Idea...Be good for me at the moment as I have a name badge to remember my own name lol
Luv Deb


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llmunchkin
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | llmunchkin
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
This is a great idea - it gives them great skills for negotiating in the future, and no reason to pretend they didn't know what the agreement was.  Personally, if it was me, I would also find it handy - because then I would remember who was where, doing what, and when.  LOL


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Deborahsc2203
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | Deborahsc2203
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
thanks angie ,, hmmm sounds like something im going to need haaa


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Ngairi
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | Ngairi
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
sounds like a great idea. Just have to get the wording right. Leisa


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Shellshell
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | Shellshell
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...

Great advice Angie

No harm in trying, thanks for the idea

 Shelley



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cazza
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | cazza
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
what a great idea angie and i hope it contuies to work for you and your family....


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cheekymonkey
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | cheekymonkey
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
Good stuff here. One of my tafe teachers uses this system with his daytime students as they are generally school leavers and tend not to respond or understand deadlines any other way. It seems to work for him too. So glad I am a mature age student hehehehehe


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hermy
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | hermy
Re: Written Agreements...Making sure that all involved know the rules...
what a great idea.....wish i would have read something like this earlier..will put it into practice ASAP.....can't wait....thanks for sharing this advice Angie....regards Sandra xxx.


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