House Husbands

All I can say Brian is welcome to the stay at home workers club,the only way I think you can truly enjoy this new role is if you balance the job with your partner.If you can both do after 5.00pm and weekend chores together it helps alleviate the feelings that you may have in regard to being on call and working 24/7......it may also give you some well earned time to go and have a beer or two with your mates or follow up a hobby etc.....everyone needs time to themselves no matter what they do,I think if partners work together and realize both their jobs are demanding in different ways they build up a system that supports and nourishes them and their children. I know it is still a novel idea to some parts of society that a Man stays home to be the primary carer of children and home....and I do think it could be a dent to your pride. All I can say is it takes a strong Man and Women to go against the "norm" I feel to be honest ,some people may actually poke fun or raise eyebrows out of jealousy and a fear that in your situation they may not adapt quite as well.So Brian hold your head high,take your wifes hand and be proud of what you are both doing. Brightest Blessings Crystal xx

Brian, I can imagine that you aren't feeling very positive at the moment, and understandably so.  However there is one positive thing that I can see straight away that is positive.  You understand how helpless, hopeless and confused us mum's can feel at times when we stay at home with our baby's.  Gender is not the issue, it is a complete change of life, and for some of us, we are not ready, and it feels demeaning, and we feel hopeless. 

Then we get to come online somewhere like this, and get to hear about so many other people's experiences and enjoy being parent's again.  I think we all deserve a chance to dwell in self pity for a while, however it is your own decision as to whether this results in a positive, life-changing experience that improves your life, and the lives of your family and friends who love you.  This is an opportunity to find out who else you can be - other than Brian who worked for 26 years - do something fun for yourself during this time.  You have one life, it is not a dress rehearsal, so get on with the show - the next act has started!

Best wishes to you!

Being a new mom, all I can add is that parenting is teamwork, irregardless of who stays at home and who doesn't. Each situation is different for couples but I cannot imagine doing this without my husband's help. He is 50-50 and imagining parenting without him gives me a newly found, profound respect for those women or men who make the courageous choice to parent alone. It must be so difficult and I give those individuals credit, and at the same time remain very grateful that my spouse is so hands-on. He does everything I do for our son; we each pitch in as much as we can and spell the other so our mate can have a break, go to a game, workout, golf, rockclimb...the things that make us "us" and keep us ticking outside of the bliss of parenthood. Of course there is nothing we'd rather do that sit and coo and cuddle our little miracle. After trying to become parents for 7 years, we take not a moment of parenthood for granted now that our son is finally with us via adoption. Every day I hold him and say, "what took you so long to get here and find us??!" with tears of joy.  I work from home and have a flexible schedule doing graphic design, and my husband is pretty much gone 9-5 but his schedule is pretty flexible, too, so we are lucky. He gets up in the middle of the night to do bottles/diapers, etc. b/c he wants to give me a break, so I appreciate that and those moments where he pitches in seamlessly without me having to ask makes a big difference. now if I could only get him to put the toilet paper on the dispenser when it runs out....hmmn.

Hmmm Ok . . . .

My husband recently gave up work to help out at home as we have a  sick infant! He will tell anybody that he got the shock of his life at just what is involved in running a house and looking after the kids!!!!

My husband has learnt a whole new respect for me and it has brought us closer than ever . . Now at night when i say "not tonight I'm stuffed" he rolls over and says "yep me too, but i wouldn't swap it for anything!!"

I'm sorry you lost your job BUT yo still have you wife and children - ENJOY THEM WHILE YOU HAVE THEM  because believe me our kids grow up way to fast!!!!

cheers Kellz

enter trolling becca: how very depressing! you do have a job!!! looking after your kids is your job!! i am not unemployed i am doing the best job in the world...so are you!! there are other dads who stay home. go find one and make new friends. mums have to do it!! and as far as time with your wife is concerned what happens when it is the other way round?? bet she used to get you in the mood! put in some effort and you will be rewarded. massages work well (coconut oil is the best), she would love it, stress relieving and sensual attention from you! ugh!! i could go on like this forever! look i am sorry you lost your job but it is done now so make the most of what you have and enjoy it, life always changes one day you might find that you miss the company of your children, so cherish it while they are young. MAB!

Yes its a sometimes lonely job, but the rewards far out weigh any social life or career....  I didn't plan my kids nor did I really want them, I had a great career and loved my life, 3 months into my pregnancy I had to give up work and was ordered to bed and I hated it.....  5 years down the track as much as I miss what I used to do I would never give this up for anything, I have just incorporated new interest and business into my life...    Good for you x

ok so you have lost your job and i understand that cause i also lost mine when i was pregnent , stressful time yes ,, but instead of dwelling on it and sinking more into depression i had to turn it arround for my childs sake ,,

yes dads might not get the same social time as they do at work with their mates ,( but thats during the week) makes plans now and then for social time with your friends , it dosent mean that cause your not working with them that you cant keep the contact etc,, call them up after work hours for a chat also ,, if they have kids also make arrangements to have a bbq at a park with all the kiddies on the weekend ( catch up time also )

mums do go through this also ,,

you just have to learn how to ajust

our babies grow up fast and if you are at home and either a mun or a dad make the most of the time you are with them ,, they wont be our babies forever

Material  things are just that  material

but the time that you spend teaching your children and bonding are the most important things in life as you can never get that time with them again while they are small , every day as they grow up diffent things come out of their mouths they learn differnt skills from their parents also .

you are doing the most important job in the world dont be too sad about your change enjoy it

I bet they love having you with them ,, parents are their world their teachers their protectors

there no ohter job in the world that can be rewared with kisses and cuddles and the magic word

I love you Daddy ,I love you Mummy

 

I guess it is still really hard for a guy to assume the role of 'housekeeper', stereotypes still prevail in a lot of people's minds. Whilst your role is not by choice, you are doing an amazing job raising the 'next generation'.

Before I had my son I was very career oriented, I have spent years studying and working for my career and was always the 'breadwinner'. I gave all that up to move to the US for my husbands work and chose to be a stay at home Mom. I do miss work at times,  it is frustrating sometimes not to have any adult conversation in the day, and I am worn out in a different way. However, raising children is extremely rewarding and  when you break it down to the skills you are using with your children, you are gaining and utilising many skills than any job could provide. If I was at work I would probably only see my Son for an hour a day and at the weekends, that is enough to reasure me that I am better off at home!

I hope you savour and enjoy every moment with your children, I think it is a wonderful experience to see them grow up and lets face it, no two days are the same!

its hard work but now you know how us mums feel it can be very lonely my sis works and her hubby takes care of six kids there all at school now but getting a jobs hard they wont recognise hes not lazy and give him the credit he deserves gets me soo mad, he just wanted to be a daddy and he has been a great one, my sister is a comunity career so she gets some time at home between house calls but still he does all the meals, washing, sorting bills, general house work, walking dog etc he has loved it but now the house is empty he really just needs a break if only people would look at the bigger picture.

hope you work it all out it can be very rewarding but its a big change goodluck jo xx