Living with a mental illness and Kids

As a mum with a mental illness, it is not an easy thing being a parent. Especially when you are still in the first stages of treatment (still trying to find the right medication) and coming to terms with having a mental illness. I thought I would write this for

you all, not so you can see it is hard but so you can see it can be done. I know I have a lot of help as my husband has taken so far over a year off work to be my full time career.

It doesn’t matter whether what mental illness you have you can get there. It is very hard and a lot of work but for your kids it can be done. There are a few things that you do need and that is the will to get on with life and be there for your kids. It is better if you do have support like your partner and or family and friends. Sadly a lot of these “bail” when they find out you are like this. It isn’t that they don’t like you, its that they don’t understand and the whole stigmatism that having a mental illness has.

 

Treatment: firstly you need to get out and get treatment and help. Going to your Doctor is a good start. You must follow your treatment, no forgetting your meds as this is not a good thing. Sadly a lot of mental illnesses are long term and there is no quick fix for any of these.

 

Daily Life: Your daily life should be how you feel on the day. I personally don’t make huge plans as I get all anxious and then get really sick and don’t sleep. Do things a little at a time and if you can afford it get a cleaner to come in so that is 1 less thing you have to “deal” with. I find that if you have a routine it makes it a little easier as you can say ok it’s 10:30am it’s morning tea time, then stack the dishwasher with these dishes and then art time with the kids. Having a routine has helped me get better.

 

Support System: Having a Support System is also great but not always available. We have a lot of help via our public health sector its just a case of being able to get into it. But having Family and friends is a lot better. There are groups where you can meet other like you and that can also be a great support system. Seeing a councilor is also good as we all have issues that we can use help with.

 

When Stress Take a Time out: Like we do with our kids if they are naughty or over the top, take a time out when overly stressed or in a panic. Like I said before I try not to plan things as I a: get really upset if they fall through or don’t go as I planned and b: give myself one hell of a panic attack. I try to do nice things that you can do with the kids. I have a bath it is fun with your bathers on and using those roll on soaps and crayons that you can write on the wall with. I always have scented candles on all day and my oil burners to so my house always feels relaxed. Art is also a great thing (am lucky that 90% of my house is all tile so I don’t mind if paint is spilled) it is also great for the kids.

 

One thing I have done is told my children’s school that I am like I am and you would be surprised how nice and understanding they have been. Every day I take Alex to class I always get asked how I am and they always tell me that if I need to chat they are there. I have also told my children that sometimes mummy is really mad and sometimes I cry all day and it isn’t them it is mummy. I don’t tell them I am sick I have said that mummy has a special thing that tells her brain that she is happy and its doesn’t quiet reach mummy’s brain properly. Its funny how much they do understand when they live with it. They seem to know my bad days and they help me so much. If I feel like I just want a lie on the couch the hug me all day and are so good.

If you have a mental illness remember there is help out there for us and dont underestimate your kids either. They are one of my biggest life lines.

 

Liz