I'm the only child from my mum and dads marraige but my dad was married before and had 2/4 kids with his ex I'll explain that as we go on....My mum raised two of my dads children as he had custody of them my mum was welcomed into the family 
finally someone relaible in the kids lives.
My dad and his ex broke up frequently she would move out clear the house he would come home to nothing, the kids left with my gran now she had her reasons for doing this when they married she was only 16 and still confussed my dad was 21 and just wanted it all to work in the end, as the years went by there was some suspition to weather all the children were his....the blood tests have never been done when they finally split for good the elder two whom I was brought up with lived with my dad and his parents as he worked full time. Things were different back then and the kids were raised strickly but that was the way back then not like today when kids ring child line because there forced to do the washing up...The other two children went with her and soon ended up in care, after a few years social servisces got in touch as the girl wanted to see my dad we accepted her got on great for a while untill she wasnt getting her way things were still being discussed as to wether she sould live with us permanantly but with out blood tests....my dads terrified and was willing to accept this was his daughter oafter her as he did all of us but they would'nt allow this, she decided to acuse him of sexual abuse and we can all say this is not true, as they discovered she had done this numerous times with foster careers, contact seised from then but my brother keeps in touch she has three kids twins and a little girl all is well she has attended a few family fuions and there is no atmosphere at all. We cant change the past so we just plod on as we are, as for the boy he decided he didnt want to know weather we had the same father but again ssstays in touch with my brother although over the years my bron sis have met them they have never tryed to start a relaltionship w
Then he got home one night to find a brick had been thrown through the kitchen window nice ehh....it turned out his first wife had beenhing one of the naighboures and sending her love letter yep i did write thet right her she was struggling with being a married mum and her feelings towards women ..kinda explains her behaviour it was'nt as acceptable then as it is today.
After the divorse my dads sister set him up with a freind my mum.....they married, bought a house had me all semed well my mum worked untill being 7mnths pregnant and then gave it up, the house was needing major reconstruction and was still going on when i was born we all slpit up around the family and all the family helped, good job my dad hes lost of brothers..lol
my mum was great she not all that maternal so she found takin theses kids on hard but has raised them since them they call her mum even though they were 10 nad 12 when she took over, my mums more an i make sure there fed, clean etc but finds it very difficult to show affection even to me....by the time i was old enough to be aware of all this my brother had already got a girl preganant at 15 her family forced an abortion and she was moved away as they didnt want the shame on the family we have never heard from her since i just hope she is ok. xx by the time he was 18 he had done it again this time he married her but it wasnt easy her mujm threatend to knife him in our living room, they had two children together but are now divorsed and he has re-married taking his children with him his ex the mother chooses to have no involvment and they girls are 15 and 19 now, they call his new wife mum and she really is so lovely she would love kids but it hasnt worked for her she has tried ivf but now she has to pay, she is a graet ant!!!! my sister well she got pregnant at 18 and married they did divorse after 2 kids but re-married shortly after and now have 6 kids together.
i remember my sister leaving home and visiting she got a bit jelous with less kids at home i got more but she saw this as it was bcause i was my mums natural child ok she was young and hormonal at the time but this issue creaps up alot im very close to my sister she traets me as though were full sisters but she has issues towards my mum. i think im more understanding maybe beacuse i didnt have her childhood, my brother he ok with me im still little sis but he doesnt visit all that often says he has nothing in commen with bobby he doesnt with my sis husband but he there all the time all our children are treated equally by all...
its true to say that yes my mum will be closer to me but she cant change whats in her heart its natural of any mother, maybe she could have been a bit less uptight and relaxed more she might have had more fun but theres no way of changing the clock back...
i wish this wasnt an issue but it is for us and now its my bday nxt wk my mums just had some good fortune so i will be spoit and mac too his bday in sept i know this will cause frictions my mum says its not just that uim her daughter but that my sis has begged and borrowed all her maried life and everytime has chucked it bk in her face she recently borrowed £400 and promised to pay some bk every week but hasnt then tells her hubby she wants a chineese tk away......arrrr
i respect my mum and any help they can give me is accepted and gratefully recieved, the money of my mum yeah i could do with a bit extra who could'nt but they have plans for this money new car, house maybe a new kitchen and i wouldnt dream of asking for a penny playing the guilt trip not acceptable no way!!!!
I dont think either way things could be different in our family maybe if my bro and sis had been taught to be more accepting and not resent others good fortune the relationships between us all could be better.
I understand how they feel there childhood was ruined in part and mine wasnt, but i choose live my life being thankful for all that i have and not thinking what could have been. My mum cant help the way she feels its natural but maybe things sould have been hidden better to save all the hurt the truth has caused.
I hope you can he open and honest with all your children explain things arent there fault and help them move on....without looking bk at mabe if's....
All in all i think my mums done well were all grown up now with familys of our own were all good people and i jhope i can raise my children just aswell...
I hope this gives you an idea of this situation fron anouther angle, i picked up on alot of this from a very young age and spent many nights crying and worrying about things hope you can see what im saying and not let any of your children go through this.....worrying isnt the childs job...
The best of luck to all of you remember if a jobs worth doing its worth doing right..............thanks mum xx
Just wanted to share my point of view thanks, it feels so good to get all these issues out ...mwah...jo xxxx
