Advice for 14yo stealing

Re: Advice for 14 year old stealing
Asked by tanstaafl1963

Question:
My youngest daughter has been taking things at home. It has been going on for a few years, with bad periods and good periods.  She has a regular therapist she goes to, in line with her treatment for ADHD and we have had discussions with her about taking things. It doesn't seem to have helped.

AS FAR AS WE KNOW, she hasn't taken anything outside the home.  This week, she took her sister's Nintendo DS to play a game.  They both have DS' but the 14 yr old has had it taken away as a punishment for another non-stealing related infraction.  I talked to her about it today, and reminded her that if she winds up stealing outside the home and is caught, she has a chance to go to Junevile Detention.  Later this same day, she takes $21 from her mother's purse.  My wife was out shopping when she discovered the theft, called home and confronted the 14yr old.   She confessed and was supposed to tell me about it and not be allowed to go to dinner with a friend and his family.  She DIDN't tell me about it, went over to the friends house and when I found out, I called the father told him what was up and said that we would pick her up.  This is the 1st time someone outside the family knew about this.

There have been times when she will come into our room, when we aren't in there and will take books, or other things.  When my wife and our middle daughter were cleaning out the 14yr old's room, they found some of the middle daughter's ear rings.

If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, we would really appreciate it. 

Going crazy...

Joe

My Advice:

Hi Joe,

My advice is coming from a person who has studied in the field of psychology and behavioural problems but not from a medical perspective so I hope this may not come across has being somewhat harsh!

I am aware that your daughter / stepdaughter has a regular therapist but you haven't stated which "type" and also how long (ie. 6 months, 12 months, 2 yrs) has she been seeing this therapist for?  I would consider seeing a psychiatrist being that your daughter (stepdaughter) has ADHD and who has a medical profession background but also in the field of psychotherapy which "the psychiatrist" will be able to get down to what is really causing her to "play up".  It could be something very simple which you and your wife are unaware- perhaps just wanting more attention from yourself or perhaps something which is happening at school or maybe even just going thru the teenage years.  Apart from this, the ADHD is something which I cannot comment on as im not in the medical profession nor have I had any experience with any ADHD background.

I hope this at least have given you another idea / avenue to try

Good luck