i know this will be offending people and Im sorry but my title says pro life so that shows im against abortion, my mothers testmoniy and my friends who have had abortions regret it esp when they see what actually happens, sorry to offened, i dont care if it has
no votes... its an issue that scars my mothers life and a diferent persective of what some mothers go through...
In 1984, while I was living with the man I thought I was about to marry, I discovered that he had had an affair with another woman. I decided that if it was good enough for him it was good enough for me so I also went off and had sex with someone else.
However, unlike his affair, mine eventuated in the woman, me, becoming pregnant. When my boyfriend found this out he made it quite plain that either I got rid of the problem or our relationship was over. I was pretty certain that my own doctor would never agree to referring me for an abortion (on what grounds?), so, in an effort to save my relationship, I contacted a girlfriend in Auckland who knew a doctor who would.
So, on August 3rd 1984, at the age of 23, I arrived at the Epsom abortion clinic. I was seen by a lady counselor who spoke to me at length to ascertain why I wanted the abortion. I told her the truth. That wasn't good enough and legally was not grounds for allowing an abortion. This counselor then did her best to convince me that to continue the pregnancy would be both detrimental to my life and to my mental well being. (There was no mention of any other course to be taken than aborting the baby. No talk of adoption or help and government support after the birth).
As best as I can remember, the counseling session took between twenty minutes and half an hour as the lady had a big job convincing me that if the pregnancy (or 'problem' as she would say) continued I would eventually get to a state where suicide would be considered.
I knew in myself that this pregnancy would not affect me in the ways she was saying as I already had a 5 year old child living with me, but as there was no other way, I eventually agreed with her and signed the papers.
Once I had signed those papers I was taken into another room and prepared for the 'termination'. I was given a gown to wear and remember drinking a solution of some sort but cannot recall exactly what it was. An older nurse came and saw me and explained what would happen next. I was then taken through to an operating theatre where I met a masked doctor and masked nurse.
The doctor gave me a local anesthetic and explained again the procedure I would go through, noting that I would feel a small amount of pain and a pulling sensation as he “cleaned out my uterus”.
The pain was so intense I started to cry. The doctor growled at me and continued with the procedure. I could hear a sucking noise and the noise of what sounded like an industrial vacuum cleaner. Inside, I felt an incredible pulling or tearing sensation.
I could hear also the noise of something hitting the inside of the machine (as you hear when larger items are sucked up by a vacuum cleaner). That noise haunted me for years.
When the 'procedure' was finished I was then taken into a large room where there were already about a half dozen other women in beds but, because I was sobbing hysterically, they removed me to a private room where I was severely reprimanded by an older nurse - a really hard, gruff woman - for making such a fuss.
About an hour and a half later I was given some panadol for the pain and asked to dress and leave. I then waited outside for my girlfriend to return and pick me up.
I felt ashamed and terribly alone as I sat with my back against a fence trying to block out what I had just done. Interestingly, at this stage I still didn't feel like I had just killed my baby so I was unsure as to why I was reacting this way. After all, it was just an abortion.
I returned home to find that the relationship was over anyway.
Before all this happened I had been a social drinker but soon became a heavy drinker and lost all confidence in myself I could not go anywhere socially without having bolstered myself with alcohol.
It wasn't until I gave birth to my second beautiful daughter Lauren in 1988 that it fully hit me that I had in fact killed a baby. My baby. This caused me to start a grieving process that continued for many, many years. This did not change until I recommitted my life to the Lord at the age of 30. Even then, I still continued to grieve and brought the death (murder) before The Lord in prayer, constantly asking God to forgive me as I felt there was no way He could possibly forgive someone who had murdered their baby.
It wasn't until I was told off by a good friend that a change occurred. She asked whether Jesus was not big enough to have taken that sin also onto the cross along with all my other sins and showed me the verse in 1 John 1:9 that says that “if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
In acknowledging this and confessing and praying to God and asking Him to forgive me, the healing process was truly able to begin.
As I was praying and confessing these things to The Lord and asking where my baby was, was it just bits and pieces down a drain somewhere or was it somewhere else. I felt Him say to me “David is with Me.” (I had not named nor even knew the sex of my baby). Today, 21 years later, I am still certain that this was The Lord speaking to me. It brought an immediate sense of peace and I felt an intense weight had been removed from my shoulders.
Because I believed that the Christian society would neither be accepting or understanding of what I had done, I didn't speak of the abortion again until I confessed it to my husband to be on the day he proposed to me. Before replying to his question, I felt I had to tell Rob what had happened. He was neither disgusted nor condemning as I thought would (should?) be, but accepted that this was part of my past and would now be part of his life too (After all, as he said, he had already accepted the fact that he was marrying a solo mother who had obviously not led “a pure and chaste life”.)
I still think of David, but not as often as I used to - which was daily for many years - usually around August each year or if when I meet young people who would have been his age. Also any time the subject of abortion is brought up. Next to seeing Jesus face to face, one of the greatest things I look forward to in Heaven is to see my child and to hold him in my arms.
Sharon
http://www.prolife.com/
(July 2007) (
This is so heart touching, i mean WOW i actually had tingles as i was reading this. 
Lexi xxx
so it was doen in vain. i do not judge people who have had them as everone has there own unike personal reasons. 
