Coping with becoming a step - parent (my story DONT READ IF U DONT WANT A SHOCK )

When i first starting dating barry , he had suspisions kylies mother was pregnant(with kylie) and obviously she was 2 months later is was found she was pregnant , at this time my head was all over the shop anyway and decided i never needed the bother so i left him , it sounds nasty but at this time i didnt really care . I got on with my life still saw barry in fact we were still very close friends. What seemed like just a couple of months passed and i got a call late in the night from barry nikki (kylies mother) has gone missing he says , and i replied yeah and so what get off to bed then he started shouting no stupid she has took an overdose she has taken paracetamol, cocodamol and anti depressants cant remember what they were called now so i told him to come and pick me up and we will go for a drive and try to find her and get her to the hospital before its too late , could we find her could we hell well we were looking all night the next after noon we found her feet cut to pieces she never took shoes we found her 28 miles from her home and did i feel sorry for her deep down no but i pretended after all we needed to get her to the hospital so i got her in the car she told me how much she is scared of death which is the usual conversation with her lol, while barry checked the water calling an ambulance he explained she was 20 weeks pregnant and they were great and got there within a couple of mins i told barry i was going to go home and to give me a call if he needs me and to let me know how the baby is as she was loosing a little blood , but being only jus before 18 i never knew what to do to help but barry wanted me to stay up the hospital to support him so i agreed to go with him when she got to the hospital she wads taken straight in to theatre when we got there a dr took barry into this room , which made me think it ws bad news . When he came out we went outside cos he said he wanted some air we sat outside and had a cigerette he said he gave me a choice my choice was who would i prefer to save if it comes to it as only 1 may survive if any , so now i was scared i was thinking she has killed his baby how cruel , well he chose kylie obviously . But thankfully the operation went well and both survived kylie was born crying weighing in at a tiny 2Ib 12oz she was put straight on a life support machine and wa in an incibator all wired up it was eally sad to see it broke my heart knowing she done that it her fault shes so tiny the doctor said she may only live 24 hours so then i went home and told barry to spend some time with his daughter ,I went home boy wasnt i in trouble but hey thats a differant story .

Barry called the next day and she was doing well so i took him some chocs and baby a teddy , she had to stay in hospital untill she was supposed to be born (20 weeks) well all that broke my heart and decided i needed to be on my own and told barry i love him to bits but i just wasnt ready for all this which he understood really well as he knew i had mental health issuesbut still we were best of friends and i saw kylie on a regular basis .

8 months later there was me didnt know where to turn had enough of being abused mum never believed me who else could i ask for help if i really needed it , it had to be barry so i called him i was crying my eyes out and could hardily talk  i told him there was something i had to tell him but he had to promise not to get angry , he said ok now im worried about you where are you ? I told him where i was and he picked me up , the first thing he got was u have to promise not to get angry , he said ok i promise whats the problem , i told him i have been being abused as you can imagine i got all the questions but he was really supportive he called the police and i reported him to the police he got away with it alot happened after that and i moved in with barry and we are still together today ive always taken kylie on as my own daughter she was seeing her mother once in a blue moon and was forever coming home in cuts and bruises with no explanations of how and when barry went to pick her up she was guaranteed to be drunk so we decided as my mum and abuser were harassing me we were going to find my dad and moved to devon . I felt bad for taking her on especially when i failed to fal pregnant but it never ever changed a thing i loved her and she is my daughter ive brought her up and i think ive done a good job , she now has a sister who she loves to bits and still i feel no differant if kylie was born from me or not i love them both the same and treat them no differant they are both my girls if you ever doubt bringing on a partners child think about it ok its hard to begin with but ive had kylie 3 and a half years and if i ever lost her i would not know what i would do , i know deep down she is not mine but im the best mum she will ever have i never taught her to call me mummy i corrected her from the start to call me emmie easier for her to say but it was always mummy at the age of 3 i stopped correcting her before she used to say she had 2 mummys and now she says that she has a mummy and a mother . She says this..................

mummy loves her looks after her baths her and puts her to bed and mummy always takes me to school

mother sends me cards at birthdays and sweeets and calls every now and then she come here before too

Thanks for reading this as its bloody long .