beening a step mum

I met my husband oversea  when i was living there ,  he was on posting there for two years  and had alrealy be living with my parents for last year and half . It was funny in the met as he just got there a week ago i there

We got to know each other over the coming weeks  and found out that he just spilt with wife and had three kids  , wow tat was a shock to me , to cut along story we had  problems but all work out  in the long run  and came back here to aus and got marriage in 86 . I  Had his kids every  weekend and half the school hoildays   and most of time to myself as he had to work . i was  22 years of age and looking after kids that  i didn't know and didn't know what they like doing at the same time i was pergant with my daugther .

I was it hard at times as the girls didn't like me at frist as they though i was one that took there dad away from there mum and the youngest beening 5  at the time was hard on her to accept me . I  cry some nights wonder in how to get the girls turst me  and be friends . The hardest  battle was learning to share there dad with me  and that  i wasn't going stand a side  and let them go out and do thing together just with there dad  but to go out as a family . I don't mean all the time going out with them  but 99% of time as i believe  they needed time out togther  my themself as well .. I ha to learn about deitbates as  one of girls had that  so while they out i sit down  and read up on it  so i knew what to do just incase something went wrong .

Then my daugther was born and the jealous strat over again  , with dad want have time for us now  and all the other things that come along with  it , But i was lucky in the since that only took a few months to sort out making then get invole with there sis and helping out  when ever they could with kylie .

One peace of advice that i can give step mums or  dads  to be  is , try to resure them that  your there for them  take interst in what they like doing  and make a day of it , that way they feel like part of the family . never run the other parent  down as when they get older they soon learn about there mum and dad form family member and they work it out for themself .Also never ask what  the other parent been up to either thats put the kids in the middle and makes them feel thats the only reason u want there .Its long hard  road and it took nearly four years for my parters kids to acept me  and to be friends , but its worth it  in the long run  and never change a thing , not even the phone calls at one in morning or come and get me i run out money and no way to get home and going though all the boyfriends breaksup   and the list goes on .All can say is put the work in stay with as at times you will think why should i , but you find in long run it well worth the heart arch  and truble you went to , to get there.

julie