Getting Dad Involved/Giving mum a break.

Well, Here I go. When I had my first and only (hopefully not my only for eva) little boy, I had trouble getting my partner involved. He was afraid of hurting our precious bundle of joy and just didn't understand how demanding they can be. I was lucky that he slept through at a young age. Speaking to different people I found that it was not a strange thing that mothers were having trouble getting dads involved.

I will start with this most important and probably most helpful hint in getting dad to help out. Men love praise. If they do something, any thing, no matter how big or small don't make it a big deal but do praise him and  let him know that you appreciate it. Dads may not always offer to help and for this I asked my partner why? His answer, because I don't know what needs to be done and when. So with as little as possible "nagging" ask your man for help because he just "may not know". Start with little things like getting dad to help with the bath. This is a great way I found. I got my partner in the bath and passed bub to him and I washed our little one while dad held him. Eventually as he saw what I was doing he built up the courage to do it on his own. He may not do it often but when he does it is a precious moment. Maybe asking dad to feed your little one befor bed while you try to do your dishes. My partner does this and follows up with a song that he made up. Its great to watch and not only does it help out mum but it is a great way for bonding. Another suggestion. Get dad to take bub out for a walk (weather permitting of course) Then you can sit down with a cuppa and take ten minutes for you.
Moving on, ENCOURAGE dad. This one sort of goes hand in hand with praise. Remember the positive things he has done in the past and remind him of that. Not only does remembering the positive help to encourage him to do it again but you will be happier too. Try not to be negitive when asking him for help. For example one arguement my partner and I had was over something so petty it's not even funny. I yelled at him it was all his fault. etc etc etc..... He never did do what it was I was asking him for help with. Oh and don't tell them to do something, ask. There is a big difference in the way they will respond when being asked and being told to do something.
Every now and again my man randomly offers to do something and will totally shock me. Like the other night he asked what was for dinner I told him steak and veg. He turned around and said if you put the veg on the stove I will take care of the rest. I think this came from the previous time he cooked meat and I must admit I'm ashamed to say this but he does a better job of it then me. I let him know this and now and again i will get offers to help out with dinner.
Don't patronise. If dad does offer to do something, don't stand over him and watch him like a hawk. There is nothing worse than having some one scrutinise what it is you are doing. Now we all know we get home from hospital and there is someone one who knows everything on standby. Wrong no body  knows everything. It doesn't matter if it is child number one or child number five. You can't expect dad to know exactly how you do run things. Let him do it his way, he will figure it out. In the mean time there is no harm in standing back and having a little giggle watching him change a soiled diaper with a peg on his nose. ( mine actually did this)
Spend time with hubby by yourselves. Talk about your concerns and anything you may have on your minds. If you need help, If he is getting what he wants out of the relationship. You need to meet each other half way on things and if this can't be done is it a battle worth fighting.
Most importantly spend time as a family, playing going for walks etc. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you spend some quality time together, bonding as a family.

Thankyou for reading this and I hope it helps at least one person.