Protecting Yourself as a foster carer against allegations.... edition Part 8

Protecting Yourself Against Accusations Of Sexual Abuse

A foster child has no history with you. When you first met you were strangers to one another. Any loyalty the child has for you will have been earned by you over time. The child will respond to you at first in the way that has been learned in his/her family of origin. Be aware that you are welcoming a complete stranger into your home every time you have a placement and be protective of yourself and your family in your interactions with your foster children.

• It is preferable if the foster father does not bathe the child alone
• Unless the child is very young, encourage the child to wash his/her own genitalia (two year olds can be taught to "wash between your legs")
• Don't spend large amounts of time alone with the child in his/her bedroom. Have your spouse or another child around
• Be clear about privacy for yourself and the child. Only enter the toilet to wipe the bottom of a young child. Encourage the child who is independent with toileting, to have the toilet and bathroom doors closed. When you have a foster child, close your bedroom door and make it clear to the foster child (and perhaps your own also) that a person's bedroom is their own private space and anyone entering should knock first (and that includes you)
• If you and your family are accustomed to walking around the house naked - don't
• Trust your own "gut" reactions. If a child says or does something which makes you feel uncomfortable, be quite matter-of-fact but let the child know that in this house we don't say (or do) that". Then tell your foster care worker - it may be one of the first signs that your foster child has experienced sexual abuse.
• Dont sleep in the same bed with your foster child. You may need to find alternative ways to comfort a distressed child at bed time, for example, leaving on a light, giving the child a favorite toy, reading a story.