A battle worth fighting? my current situation . . . .

Hi Chello72,

My marriage ended 3 years ago and also have 2 children.  Althou (as per court orders), he was supposed to have them every 2nd weekend and 1 week in the school holiday period (all in all, this means that he would have them 81 nights per calendar year).  This all worked until the 2yr mark had hit. 

It had worked out that due to me working nightshift, he actually has them 104 nights per year (as I work 2 night shifts per week) and 1 day shift.  The current ruling (in Australia) anyway is that anything under 110 nights per year will work to your advantage.  Im already aware of the new legislation which will be in July 2008 and anything between 52 nights and 132 nights per calendar year will be to the fathers advantage.  Depending on when your "consent orders" were made up, I would stick to the court orders as this new legislation will have a huge impact on when his payments will increase/decrease and on how many nights he has the children- so if its really about the MONEY, then will he want the children more- im sure that you will work it out on 2 July 2008.  I have made another comment regarding a response which someone had made- seeking legal aide regarding the laws etc and child support agency on child maintenance.

Regarding custody of "his" children and making your life difficult- yes, Im in the very situation at present (not only with my ex but his new wife of 6 months).  Pls be very careful with the children as my life experience with my ex and a new wife - the children do suffer but I sincerely wish you all the best and Im sure not all fathers (I hope) are like my one

take care
love and light

Re: A battle worth fighting??
Asked by chello72

Question:

I need some validation or advice.

My marriage ended 4 years ago. We had 2 children and they live with me. Over the years we have argued over many things. Child Support ,visitation, new relationships etc. Because I left him I have never really payed much attention to his ranting,s Always believing he was upset and hurt by my actions and eventually he would move on and we could be great parents despite no longer being married.

My problem at the moment is this:

Currently my ex husband pays Child Support via the Child Support Agency. 1 year ago I decided that this was the best way to resolve issues about how much he should pay as he has always had well paying jobs (over 100k). He caused a major commotion when I advised him of this but since then we have not argued about money.

Recently  he advised me that he would be applying for another job  (which I beleive will be paying better ) and wanted to arrange a private agreement. He also changed his visits with the kids. Originally he had them every Thurday evening (returning them Fri Morn) and every other weekend (he would take them to school monday mornings). We have both decided that Thurs evenings are pointless and he offered to assisit with 2 weeks of school holidays per year.

With the changes his payments will be increased significantly via the CSA. He is furious that I have declined a private agreement and claims that its all about the money. We have both been advised that if he spends more time with the children his pamyents will be SIGNIFICANTLY decreased. I have told him he can see the children whenever he wants as long as it is NOT a school night as it is very disruptive for them.

He has now indicated that he will file for custody of the children and "make my life very difficult"

I know that the simple way to fix this is to accept less child support pamyents from him, because despite what he thinks I dont really need the money. What I want is that he spend more time with his children, bearing in mind that he will not pick them up from school on ANY day. Nor will he commit to anything more than 2 weeks per yr of school holidays. becasue as he had said on many occasions he has to  work. (I work too)

So my dilema is do i fight him in the hope that he will spend more time with his children or do i back down and let him win this one.

I know we should all pick our battles...but is this one worth fighting?