difficult child

Re: Completly loosing my mind!!!!!!
Asked by mummyof1

Question:

Hey everyone,

I am hoping for some advice because at this point in time i am loosing it i feel as if i am so far down on the ground and can barely

move. My son has just had his first birthday and he is a fair right pain in the bottom at the moment and i dont know why???

The situation with him is he has always been a very active child even when he was a little babe only a few months old he was active and very demanding. At this point in time i cant get away from him at all he wont go to anyone, he screams when people come near him and if i dont pick him up he is throwing himself on the floor screaming till he throws up, he wont even go to the lady's at daycare without a massive fight of kicking and screaming, he wont lay down and get his nappy changed without screaming and kicking and to be honest i am loosing it. Is this even normal i feel as if i always am disciplining him of no for this and no for that things that he knows he cant do he just seems to be always pushing me he throws food and tips his milk on the floor. This child has dvds to watch, plenty of different toys without spoiling him we have plenty of family time but at the moment i am just so physically drained i dont even want to do my housework when he is asleep because i am relieved to have an hour to just sit quietly and i find myself doing nothing or having a sleep to get rid of a headache from controlling him so much.

As you could imagine it gets quiete embarrasing cause i cant go and see anyone and even something simple as eating tea is embarrasing he will fight to eat his meals and if you let him feed himself he will purposly throw food and then chuck a screaming fit when he wants to get out 9 times out of 10 i dont get to finish my meal or i refuse to eat because i know what is going to happen. I dont get why this is happening but it has to stop and i have tried everything im always so down and upset and my work load is getting bigger and out of control. I dont go out since i had him he has only been looked after once since he has been born to give me a few hours out and it is because of the way he is that i wont leave him at daycare i dont have a choice cause im studying to be a nurse but i have found myself even keeping him home from that occasionaly because of how exhausted i am..,

Please can someone help or has anyone gone through similiar????

My Advice:
I understand what you are saying, raising a child with a difficult temperment is hard work - every day. There is a reason why your child is resistent and angry. Aside from a good medical check, I would suggest that you buy a good book on children with a difficult temperment. Further, learn more parenting techniques from professionals; others can help you understand the world from your child's point of view and teach how to respond. Often children like this need 1. strict routine (makes them feel safe) 2. good diet (no junk) 3. calm home environment (good relationships and same response from each parent) 4. learn to give (limited) choice when can 5. keep child busy with lots of activities (swimming lessons, play gym etc).

What you really need to know that this takes a while, and parenting a child like this will be hardwork for years. BUT, as a benefit they are often more intelligent, lively, fun children. Trust me, I know! I am a mother of one (now 16 and just great) and I also a mothercraft nurse and psychologist. GOOD LUCK