My dear friend is expecting twins in six weeks time. Her husband works away and she has no family to support her and two other children as well. I will make sure she reads this great article.

I also have twins boys, and no family to help other than my partner, it is interesting reading your story.  I also have found that nobody wants to babysit twins, I had a little chuckle at that.

Just for anyone else out there, you can get a twin buggy thats fits through all single standard doors, and it is a side by side, it is from the brand Mountain Buggy, they are a bit more expensive but for me it had been perfect.

My boys are still in the same room, but we are looking at splitting them up, just so they have their own space, and toys etc.  But if it causes too much upset then we will put them back together.

I love having twins and have been very lucky, although they are typical boys, into everything, climbing everything, running everywhere, they are bright, advanced for their age and I get the pleasure/privellage of watching a very special relationship unfold.  And they sleep and eat perfectly (which helps).  It is hard work but whats life without a challenge!!!

I dont know what I would do if I were to have twins!I think that mothers of twins are heros to me.I am married to a twin and I see every day how much of a bond my husband and is brother have, and how much trouble the can be too(LOL)!! I have a very close friend who has twin 2 year old boys and they are soooo funny, her and her husband and family have been threw alot, the boys were born reallyyyy early due to a medical cond, but are both doing really great now, but I think she my be the strongest person to me and I look up to her and my mother in law and all mothers who have twins or more, or well just moms in general!!! we are the reason God made us the one to give birth and care for children for the rest of there lives, because we are strong!!!so I praise you!!!!

Thankyou to all who have left comments. You are all truely inspirational! I thought i'd share this with you... My twins are now ten years old, it's a very interesting stage in their lives where they're learning where they "fit in" and what they want for their futures. On fridays for homework the kids have to do internet research and get some "fun fact's" to share with the class called "fun fact friday". Last night I asked the kids what the topic was this week and they told me it was who their heros are. So, I asked who was it... expecting Steve Irwin or Some Crusty Demons name. No, they replied you and dad are my heros! What? Really? Why do you think i'm your hero? Because you love us, you help us, you give us the things we need and help us get the things we want and you're always there for us! Choking back tears and a massive sense of pride I thought to myself, gee I must be doing something right! And then I thought who are my hero? Well ofcourse you know the answer, my beautiful kids, they give me the inspiration to sucseed in life and to be a better person. I'm sure you are all hero's in the eyes of your kids too! One more thing I have learned with twins... everyday, there is something new... good or bad, always a challenge! Take care Tx

i have to agree with u.i've been through a lot, saw my 1 girl die on saturday, then held her again, full of life a while later, after they revived her. i also cant remember a time before my girls. love being a mom to twins. i also went at it alone for most of the time, even though i am married, but at least had the help of my mom and sister. hubby's on night duty and stays out of town. i still have a while to go, my girls are only 13 months old

I have also thought about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs after having my two boys. They are one year apart. Luckily, I found an in-line pram that is easy to manoevre, and the new shopping trolleys woolworths have introduced with two capsules, one capsule and one seat ,and two seats together, have been a Godsend. I also needed to buy two of everything! My boys are still in cots in the same room, but during the day now one is purposefully waking the other up so that is my current issue to deal with! You poor thing having to pay for two airline seats! That's ridiculous. I'm glad you're getting the support you need from the MBA. Keep up the good job!

Great piece of advice. I only have one but i'm very busy with him.

Thanks for the article.  As a father of twins (identical) and having an older sibling (18 months apart), I echo a lot of your lessons.  A triple stroller was even harder to obtain access.

On the question of separation, we did not leave it up to the kids on whether they were separated at school.  A major frustration for us during the early years was that people seemed not to recognise the individuality of the twins.  Their kindergarten teacher could not tell them apart after a year of being with them.  It was time to separate them.  It was a great decision. They are still very close and are able to share different things with each other.

Many piece of advice we can all learn from, I will grow from reading this

i loved this article, thank you for your heartfelt advice..i have only the one and i feel i have my hands full. My niece is expecing twins in May at which time her daughter will be turning 2. Your words have touched me and in turn will inspire her. Keep up the good work and God bless you, you certainly have gone through a tough time but it seems to me that you are a very strong and devoted woman.

Great advice and great going!!! Im a mum of twins - two sets - and a single parent from before the younger ones came along. There is 16 months between them and it was hard at first but as time went by it seemed to get easier. Only seemed! As their stages developed, your coping just changed but Id say you do get into a rhythm. I home school my lot now because of severe bullying. When they were at school I made sure they were always in the same two classes as I noticed they were a bit used to having someone close always around and they felt better being together.

Great twin article!  I have twins too.  They are in separate pre-k classes, but I am thinking of putting them in the same class next year since the teachers are on different schedules with homework - one is behind the other - and since we do homework together, it sure would be nice if it was the same work at the same time.  Also, on birthdays - 20 cupcakes instead of 40, 2 teacher gifts at Christmas, teacher appreciation, etc. instead of 4.  I am thinking of talking to the school before kindergarten.  They  are very independent of each other, and so perhaps separate classes at a later grade like your twins would be a good idea.

 When my twins were born in 2003, we already had an almost 4 year old, and a 2 1/2 year old. Like you, the first year was very hard for both of us. But with both parents committed to raising the family, neither gets committed to an institution!

I can only commend you for doing so well on your own. We have discussed what it would be like to be a single parent, and we agree that neither one of us wishes to find out what challenges you face daily. Its a hard enough job for two people, let alone one.

Your advice about the Multiple Birth Association is spot-on. If for no other reason than to hang out with the parents of triplets and quads, they can make you feel so much more humble about your own struggles. (We met a mother of triplets who breastfed all 3 for 14 months! WOW!)

I also agree with you about the separation management. Mine are a fraternal boy/girl pair, and they have managed to work out when to work together and when to stay apart, with only a little intervention. Mostly, they get on just fine.

Finally, I would like to add a footnote. As our twins were born by caesar, they have the same birth time written on their birth certificates. Thus they have no idea which one was born first, thereby eliminating the number one argument between twins in later life. We have decided not to tell them, as only about 4 people actually know!

Thanks for your article, I loved it.

Daniel

I only have one and he can be two handfuls.  It's amazing that you only put them into day care for 3 hours a week.  Great advice.

Being a Mum to twins i know exactly what you mean!  I also had a 13mth old when mine were born and then 10mths after that my marriage fell apart and i had no support either.  I always found it amusing how many people offered to babysit but never did.  I also put mine into care for 2 half days a week and was condemed because i should be with them 24/7.  Those people never offered to help out either, and they had supportive families who helped them. 

You have written so many things that i also did and in grade 1 they decided to have seperate classes, they still share at room but that is by choice.  And at 8 yrs old  they still want to dress the same or similar, i had got them out of this habit at an early age but when they started school and had to wear a uniform they reverted back.  It could be worse, when they were 3 to 5 if one got dirty and changed clothes the other one would go in and change into a clean set that matched his brothers, either in colour or design!  Yes, i used to wash a LOT!

Well done! What a great article and such an inspiring woman you are!!

I think your doing a wonderful job and keep it up.

Your advice is fantastic and you have endured a lot and come through it with shining colours, well done for giving your twins the opportunity to make decisions.x

Dear Bittenbythelovebug, thank you so much for this article.   I am a 43 yo twin.   I would like to give advice from a person who has grown up with a twin.   Our parents always insisted we be dressed the same at all times, they were extremely proud of having twins and wanted the world to know it.  Although this always got us lots of attention it also stifled our need to grow independantly.   The comparisons were continual, everybody always compared one to the other and one of us always had to fall short, at times it was me, at times it was my sister.   We were always so alike even our relatives only ever called us TWINNY as it was impossible to tell us apart.   We really did grow up without our own identities.   This has caused a lot of unnecessary friction and eventually the comparisons drove a wedge between us.  Being twins we believe we should have been closer, unfortunately for us we're not as this sort of damage is very difficult to undo.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ensure that all the twins out there, all the mothers of twins, raise your gorgeous children to be completely independant and seperate little beings.   Their going to be closer than any other siblings just because they're twins, so let them have their own identities, let them just be themselves WITHOUT the comparisons.

Being a mother of twin girls I will definitly recommend the advise given by bittenbythelovebug. Its great advise and ver true. Thanks

thanks for that! it is just what i needed to read........I am new to this twin life but it is already hard sometimes.  I will just say that the one thing i already know is that i am blessed for having these two wonderful little girls and their older brother of course.  You really are an inspiration.  thanks again.....Sue

great article.  i can really relate to this.  good on you for getting through that really tough time. it sounds like you have a lot of courage, i guess we just do what we have to do. 

my husband suffered from undiagnosed and untreated depression for the first 3 years of my twins' life and was very demanding on me emotionally, without offering anything back.  at that stage, i often thought it would be easier if he left (or if i left him).  so i can understand the difficulties in not having a supportive partner to help you through.

i  didn't really understand the complexity of having twins (mine turn 4 in feb) until i had my 3rd, singleton baby, as i had my twins first, so that is how i learned to be a mum.  even WITH the older twins to care for, my 3rd is a breeze to look after (i don't think that most mothers of single babies really appreciate how easy one baby can actually be).  i love all my babies and i wouldn't change a thing.

thanks and good luck.

I love this article.  It is written with honesty and a dose of humour.  I do not have twins (yet), but my mother is a twin, so it stands to genetics to give them to me if I dare to try again ... Although I had an idea of a lot of this (had given it thought when I was pregnant the first time) I found I learnt a lot and got a lot from what you shared here.

Thank you

Peace
EF.x

I am a mother of 4yr old identicle twin boys. I loved this article and related to all of it. I totally agree that there are some very testing times, but it only takes a slobery kiss, smile or hug and all is forgotten. Having twins is truley a special experience. I wouldn't change a thing

Thanks for sharing this advice...very well written and some great pointers. Well done!

Regards Janice

Great list! I can't wait for my girls to be old enough to interact and give kisses!

Oh by the way, the double strollers/prams are a mixed blessing. It's great since if I have to go out somewhere for a short errand that's the only way I could take them. But you're right, if you go somewhere small.. like some doctor's offices, they get to be  a curse.

I was arround your age also and have twins also ,, i am also a solo parent and never had help ,, my friends actually ran offf cause it was alot of work and they where still going out to clubs etc,,their dad changed his mind about being a dad when the twins where about a month old and left me ,,,,, i think the baby bonus was about 800 back then but was still seen as a single birth having twins and i only got 800 thats all for the both of them and the pram back then cost about that much also ....and you are right triplets where seen as single births and also the parents got help from the goverment , i never joined the multible birth ass as i couldnt even get to a post office and never had time to do anything . taxis wouldnt pick me up cause i couldnt even hold both of them at the same time , i didnt have a car and it would take me an hour to walk ...rain hail or shine to get to the shops and a bank .i couldnt get on a train or buss either it was always walking to place to place ...i looked like a zombie for years .... and they where also non sleepers and had baby asthma ..to tell you the truth i honestly dont know how i got through it i really dont i guess i just had to do it for the love of my boys ,, i also had to hand wash all their clothes in the shower just to name a few things that was soo hard to do at the time ,,,

my advice for any friends of people with twins etc,, go over to have coffee with them even a simple nap was out of the question at the time ,, but just company and getting a little time to have a nap would mean the world of difernce to mums that have twins etc,, i did things the hard way . now they are all grown up and i can look back and say i did it i went though it and survived with not one drop of help i still dont know how i got through it ,,,,,,,

i didnt have any cots or high chairs i couldnt even get to a baby store all i worked with was a double pram , and had two flights of stairs to go down wow but it can be done

its all worth it in the end i look back and think look at my beautiful boys as hard as it was i would have never of changed  it one bit , when i see women with twins now i know just what they are going through and i take my hat off to them its a whole lot of work ,,,,if you ever need a chat just add me xxxxxx

you are doing a wonderful job and it will all pay off when they get older xxxxxxxxxxxx

i have another child now it took me 13 years to have another one and this time i find many things now soo easy and my twins are great big brothers and have some sort of understanding just how hard it was for me when they where small and are a great help to me now with their little brother ...great article and your a great mum