I was 23 when I had my twins. My mother died when I was pregnant with them and their dad left when they were 1 year old. My theory is that Life is a lesson and when faced with problems, you need to learn from it, grow, and move on.
What got me through the hard times was knowing that there were people out there worse off than me and that I was not alone. I felt blessed that I was given twins although at times I felt I was being punished…lol. Here are a few things I have learned along the way.
I have learned that…
Having twins doesn’t equal multiple birth…
In the eyes of the Australian government only triplets and above = multiple birth allowance. For twins, you get double the baby bonus but no extra help than that. I found this interesting as one would presume that a multiple birth is a multiple birth.
A twin pram limits access…
I have a new found respect for people in wheelchairs and how hard it is to gain access to practically everywhere. I was one angry woman when the only aisle I could get out of was the express checkout but was told I had too many items. However, the best part of having the twin pram was that both babies could sleep while out and while wide they are very easy to manoeuvre…even one handed.
You need two of everything…
Two highchairs, two car seats, two rockers…two lots of medicine. While going to day care I had to get two prescriptions filled even if both babies where taking the same meds, due to day-care policy, medicine must have that child’s name on it to be given at day-care.
Flying solo with twins costs double...
Catching a plane on your own with twins = two adult fairs, even if they are under 2 years old. I have travelled From Darwin – Brisbane and Darwin – Adelaide solo with the twins and got a shock the first time when I was told I had to pay for another seat because I thought kids under two were free.
The big question is… to separate or not….
This issue starts from birth and continues on through school. At first I had the twins in the same cot until they started moving around, then they got their own cot but were placed side by side. I found this settled them more; being able to see/hear each other was comforting. Then they got their own beds but the same room until they were 6 when they asked for their own rooms. Until this year they have been in the same class at school. My best advice is to allow the kids the opportunity to decide if they want to be together or not when the opportunity arrises.
Time out is a necessity...
To keep my wits about me I started putting the twins in day-care from 6 months for 3 hours once a week. Doesn’t sound like much, but it felt like forever! With this time I would either, clean the house, go shopping or catch up on sleep. A lot of people commented on how they always wanted twins but no one ever offered to baby sit both kids at the same time. I didn’t have a supportive family near me and although the in laws did offer to have one baby at a time, I saw no sense in it, because if you have one you may as well have two.
You are never alone...
This has more than one meaning…from never being able to shut the toilet door to having the support of others like the multiple birth association (amba). Joining the Multiple Births Association was the best thing for me, there were coffee mornings with other parents of multiples and they have great advise on where to get discounts, breastfeeding, etc. There are plenty of books about twins these days too; just check out your local book shop or you can borrow books from the local twin club.
Two babies means double the love…
The best part about being a mother of twins is that no matter how hard it gets, all it takes is a smile, a slobbery kiss, a giggle or a hug from your adorable babies to make you realised how blessed you really are and that life wouldn’t be the same without them. Is there life before twins? I can’t remember…lol
www.amba.org.au/content/ Australian Multiple Birth Association.
www.tamba.org.uk/home.php Twins & Multiple Birth Association. UK.
(July 2007) (
Tracey xx
