As someone who has had to learnt trust people again, I fully understand and am aware of just how hard it can be. I had some great help along the way and through some of the work I have done, have also learnt some other steps in working towards trusting people again. Here are some more ideas and tips to start the process of healing and trusting not only yourself but others around you.

• One of the greatest weapons against suspicion and mistrust are honesty and openness. If there has been a trust that has been broken, try and share what it feels like for each of you. This is not an easy thing to do for anyone and at times can get quite heated. If possible, exercise as much self control and understanding that you can. When you are completely open with somene and they are with you, there can be things that you may not want to hear. However, you may need to hear them in order to begin the healing process. Try and state where you are, how you are feeling without playing the blame game. Listen while attempting to put aside your own hurt and pain. At this point you are only trying to stand in the others persons shoes so you can gain some sort of understanding.

• Try and recognise there may be deeper issues between you that led to the breakdown of trust between you. For example - disappointed expectations: We can all expect a lot from friends, partners etc and when those expectations are met we can become resentful. 

• baggage from the past: We all bring things into our friendships/relationships from the past. One key thing is recognising that it is coming from the past and not the moment that you are in right now. It is what we can learn from the "baggage" that can be the greatest gift of all.

• unresolved conflict:Does one of you have the "peace at any price" attitude?? or maybe doesn't like the way the other one reacts in certain situations??? There are a lot of us that don't like to conflict and do what we can to avoid it. This can lead to the problem being held onto by one or both people and never dealt with at the time. This can result in constant suspicion and questioning by one or both people. The end result can be one massive argument over something that happened days, months or even years ago. Deal with the problems as they occur instead if sweeping them under the carpet. In doing so your helping to create a trusting relationship.Come to an understanding that you will keep everything out in the open but that you will also treat each other with respect. If you know your friend, family or partner won't like something you want to do but you have promised to tell them all it can make you think twice about doing it. Remember though it can be hard for anyone to be honest if they get jumped on every time they are willing to be open and honest.

In the end remember that honesty is not an excuse to be rude, blunt, critical or to set out to hurt someone. Nor is honesty meant to be used to manipulate the other person into accepting guilt. Honesty needs and should go hand in hand with tact and gentleness but above all, honesty should be in conjuction with love and respect for the other person involved.

Hope this helps some of you out there....

fi xoxo