The Minti Journey

I've been doing some thinking about my time here at Minti and how there appear to be all these different stages you go through.

When I first joined, I started reading some of the articles and Q&A.  Everyone seemed so enthusiastic.  I would read all these people who were saying that Minti was their life-line, how they had made so many wonderful friends.  My little skeptical, cynical mind kicked into gear and thought that I was not like those people. 

Then I thought "Well, I really want to win this robot vacuum" (LOL!!!) so I started answering a few Q&A questions.  I started a blog.  I started commenting on articles.  I started voting on articles.  And I started getting badges.  I must confess to being an achievement driven person, so I thought the badges were pretty cool.  And it didn't take too much effort to get badges every couple of days if I kept on participating.  So I did!!!

Then I started getting medals.  And I started going up the ranks in my shields.  The first few weeks were the most exciting cause I would move up 50 places in a couple of days!  I thought I had this thing worked out.

And then I actually started making friends.  People would respond to my comments and my blog and I would start to get to know them.  I was invited into some groups, even some private groups, and I found a place to unburden myself of some of the angst and events that had happened to me in the recent past.  Other people responded and could relate to me.  I found that there were some wonderful non-judgemental people in the world who seemed willing to accept me as I was - even when they had never met me in person.

Soon those friendships started to spill over out of Minti.  I exchanged email addresses with some people, and others I started speaking to on msn.  I exchanged phone numbers with people and mailing addresses and eventually even got the opportunity to meet a couple of them face to face.  I became one of those people who went on about how Minti was my life-line and how I had made so many wonderful friends.

But as I got to know people's wonderful sides and generous natures, I also got to know people's hurt and anger and defensive ways of relating.  I got caught in the cross fire more than once and got hurt.  I considered leaving.  I considered starting again under a new user name.  I considered cutting people out of my friends list or saying hurtful things or playing the "I'm only going to give you one star" game. 

And then I decided that I didn't want to be like that.  For every hurt that I had felt, I also received amazing support from those same people.  More than that I decided Minti is more than one person, or ten people, or even 100 people.  And the more than that, the more I gave in to feeling bad, the less I was available to help other people who needed it.  And I do like feeling that I'm making a difference to other people.

And so I've been sitting here reflecting on my Minti journey so far.  And I've realised that every step in the journey is like the stages in a very deep relationship. You start off not knowing what to do.  You get excited by the new, little things you discover.  The more you put into the relationship the more you seem to get out.  It starts to deepen and you find yourself opening up more and more, getting deeper and deeper, becoming more and more vulnerable.  And then the honeymoon is over and in your vulnerability you get hurt.

And then you're left with a choice.

You can choose to become more closed and put up your armour.  Because you remember that you didn't hurt like this before you got vulnerable.  Or you can remember that this was the best it could be when you were most open and most vulnerable and being hurt is the price you pay for experiencing life on that deeper level.  You remember that the people who hurt you were also your greatest support and you remember that you were no better - either because you did what they did or because you wanted to.

And then you emerge from that place of hurt into a place of maturity.  You gain a greater sensitivity to others.  You gain a greater understanding of the journey of others who are coming up behind you.  You begin to look at those ahead and wonder what they have experienced that you don't yet know anything about and you wonder how you can help them too.

And as painful as the journey can be at times, you would not become the person you are without knowing  both the good and the bad.  And without opening yourself up, you would never have experienced so much.  And so the journey continues...