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A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

cookclan by cookclan Young Parent(July 2007) (rank 3rd)
I wanted to share this with all out there in the Minti community. This is about something that I would not even wish on my worst enemy. This is something that should be shared but. I am a mother of a teenager. I am a good mum caring, reliable, always there for my child and they always come first in my eyes. But this is a recent incident that I had no control over what so ever. I will tell you how it happened.

My teenager had a couple of their mates over. Just two and they were having a quiet night minding their own business listening to music and playing playstation and computer. I wandered down to the room and chatted with them all for a couple of minutes and then started to play the playstation also with one of the mates. My teenager then walked out of the room and I followed to see all was alright. My teenager seemed fine just a little low and not feeling themselves. They asked for some alone time to which I said okay but you know where I am.  I left them for their alone time. One of the mates went to check and walked around the back . The mate yelled for help and the other mate and I ran to see what the commotion was all about. The sight I saw was one that was the most gut wrenching thing I have ever seen in my life. Here was my child, my baby even though a teenager hanging from a rope from my verandah. They were spluttering and fighting for air with froth coming from thier mouth. It was as if I was looking into a movie of something that was not real. If that is understandable to all.

I ran to my teens side along with the mates and held my child up with them as a knife was gotten to cut them down. The rope could not be undone it was too tight and was still tight after the rope was cut. We quickly struggled to loosen the noose from my childs neck and as they lay on the ground I cried and cried. The police arrived and took my teenager away as my child yelled abuse at me that I should have left them there to die just left them to hang. That night I felt emotions I have never felt before and I wanted to share them here with you all.

Being a teenager is a really hard time in our lives. Do you remember how hard it was yourself? How everything seemed like it was the end of the world? How one thing could fester in your mind and turn into a huge and scary problem. Something that seems minimal to an adult is always larger to a teenager. This is a mothers thoughts but looking into a suicide attempt of one of their children.

I sat there and I thought for a while and felt kind of numb. I really could not think just how I felt at that time. I had my teenagers mates crying and myself thinking I need to protect these children. I need to help them to get through this too. My child was in the safest place there was the hospital and I had these two teenagers needing someone to fall back on for support. I just could not break down at that time. They cried as I hugged them and then all of a sudden I felt this great ball of anger inside of me. I was mad at my child for trying to kill themselves. I was fuming and I felt so angry I started to shake. Why was I feeling this way? Why was I not feeling sorry for how bad my child was feeling that they felt the only way out was to end it? Well the counsellors say its normal. I was angry with them for not coming to me and telling me how they felt for not giving me the chance to sort it for not even thinking of the people they would have left behind if they had of succeeded. Then came the feelings of relief and happiness. I was relieved we found my teenager on time and happy that they didn't succeed. I was also happy that my child was somewhere with professionals that knew how to deal with this. Then came the guilt. Why this and why that it must have been my fault if only I was a better mother then it would not have happend. I soon snapped out of that thought. I soon with help from wonderful  friends and counsellors knew that this was no fault of my own. there was no reason for me to feel guilt at all. Then the sadness set in I felt so sad for anyone that felt their life was bad enough to end it.

I have now talked to alot of people who have had similar things happen to them some were not as lucky as me and held their childs lifeless body as they felt all the emotions welling inside them. I was one of the lucky ones. You see if your child becomes suicidal, sometimes it can be a cry for help. Sometimes it can be a I just want to end it all attempt. I believe my childs attempt was a call for help to get me to listen. I do listen but obviously I didn't hear what they were saying exactly. Or they never conveyed it the correct way for me to understand.

I never want to see this sort of thing happen again to my child. Obviously becuase I love them but also because of the stesses that it has caused in our family. The fear of not wanting to go to sleep for myself until they are. The fear of waking in the morning and not finding them in their bed instead hanging somewhere around my home. I still have alot of work to do to overcome those fears and work through this whole ordeal but I wanted to share it with you all right now.

Just as a small end note to this advice. If someone wants to end it all for real there is nothing you or anyone else can do. That was told to me by the psychiatrist. Some people just have that feeling and no matter how many times you interfere with their attempts or protect them they will succeed eventually. This is not your fault and you are in no way to blame for this.

I hope this is taken as advice. Take care all. And thank-you for reading this.                                                                                                                             
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robalman
April 13th | robalman
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

My thoughts are with you totally and hope that your family can be there for each other.

What you saw was something no one should ever have to but there are so many pressures on each and every one of us in this modern world that one can and should be forgiven for being a little confused at times.

I dont know what else to say apart from be there for your kids and listen when they want to talk. Seek help for them when they ask for it.

Regards

Robert xx



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Juzzy
5.00 (Excellent) | April 7th | Juzzy
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

OMG!!!! You must be a very strong lady to write your story. I too like many others have had someone close to them die through suicide. It changes your life forever. I am so glad that you got to your son in time and i'm sure he will forgive you for what you did. I hope he is much better now and feeling better about life.

Good Luck with everything and i will be thinking about you and your family xx



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2BeautifulGirls
5.00 (Excellent) | March 24th | 2BeautifulGirls
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

OMG!!! I had tears in my eyes while reading this.  Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope that your family is on the road to recovery.

I hope that I never have to experience this but it has opened my eyes wider and realise that this can happen.

Thanks again.

Michelle



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pavementcracks70
5.00 (Excellent) | February 22nd | pavementcracks70
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

i read this a while ago and never left a comment

thanks of your honest account, your one strong and brave woman!

rue



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emmali
5.00 (Excellent) | February 10th | emmali
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

I think that this is absolutely amazing and being able to write this was really good for you. Thank you for being able to share your intelligence and thoughts with us. I believe that writting is one of the best ways that helps me to deal, understand and just get through things. Reading this really helped me. Sometimes I don't like to listen to or believe my psycologist; how is she supposed to know anything; I'm the one who's been having to deal with this and not her. However, this helped massively! You're really strong and brave. I can tell. Hopefully things are a bit better but I can imagine that they are still very tough.

My Blessings to you and your family<3



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kiwikylie79
5.00 (Excellent) | December 29th | kiwikylie79
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

OH MY GOSH darl i ever so feel for u and the family i had a auntie that had succeded she was 16 and a brother that tried at the age of 6 i just want u to know that i am thinking of u and ur loving family at this bad time and that if u ever need anyone 2 talk to we are NEVER far away my prayers and thought are with u as i sit here crying and for ever more my love all i can say to u is keep ur chin up each day that goes by is another step forward i really dont know wat more i can say to try and help u in this horrific time but just know this u r a lovely lady and a gr8 mum and for wat ever reasons ur child did wat they did u can be there and thats all u can do please keep ur chin up and god bless

i will think of u always

kylie

xxoo

 <------ just for u with huggz



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sebcanatalay
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | sebcanatalay
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

Thanks sharin with us. It is a great advice and so sad that you 've gone trough this. Now I am so scared that this stage is waiting for me too I hope I can cope with that. One of my friends son killed himself when he was 16. A few days ago hes father was telling me about him. I know how hard it is.

Hugs

Seb 



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etcircus
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | etcircus
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
I am so sorry, I meant your son, not your daughter- I am sorry, your story it really affected me and I wrote the wrong thing. I also hope the mates are doing ok and my heart also goes out to them. Take care of yourself and I sincerely hope that everything somehow works itself out. xox ps I too felt anger at times, it all just seems so unfair. Why can't they see how much we love them and how wonderful they are? If only love cured everything...


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etcircus
4.62 (Excellent) | October 2007 | etcircus
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

My heart goes out to you as do my thoughts and prayers. I have had someone close to me commit suicide and it is shocking as well as makes you feel a pain that you can't compare to anything else. It's someone you love and they are hurting and won't let you help- it could easily be one of the worst feelings there is. I hope you have someone there to support you as you support your daughter because although my natural inclination was to think "noone should support me, it's not ABOUT me" I couldn't have gotten through it if my loved ones had given up instead of forcing support on me. I am so very sorry that you had to go through that and so so sorry that your daughters pain kept her from running into your arms.

 



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Arna
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | Arna
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
I myself have thought of ending my own life in the past.  The last time was so that then my girls would get the help they needed.  The rest of the times I was a teen.  I was alone in the world, my parents had moved to Brisbane and I had no friends, so when things got on top of me, they got on top of me.  thankfully, because i wasn't thinking straight, none of my attempts were successful.  From a teen perspective, I did it as I didn't want to bother other people with my problems.

Thanks for sharing this with us.  I hope your teen is now understanding better that there is always help out there, sometimes we have to swallow our pride and ask for it!  lol.  Yeah, not easy when you are a teen.

And to you teens.... we know you want to be an adult, but sometimes that means ASKING FOR THE HELP!  As adults do it all the time!  We aren't weak, just in need of reasurance and a bit of support.


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DarkenedAngel
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | DarkenedAngel
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
I saw my aunt go through this with her son. Everything seemed normal, he came home from school, went to his room, turned on the stereo, nothing was out of the ordinary; until she went to get him to come down for tea. As she went to his room she heard a bang, he wouldn't open the door... because he'd decided to take his life with a firearm. the effect on the family was total devistation and she still wonders today - 25 years later - if there was anythign she could have done differently to stop it. No one even knew where he got the gun from. I'm so glad your lad survived.


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mummy2girls
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | mummy2girls
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

i can't rate this article hun...  it's so touching and so personal...

you're a good strong and supportive mum and i'm sure that you and your family will be there together through thick and thin...

lol to you all....

and HUGS...

lots and lots of HUGS!!!

lol xxxx.



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ajv00
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | ajv00
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
Wow,  What a strong person you are to have written this and shared it with us...  I hope that you and your family are now ok and working through things,  Good advice lets hope it helps others out there


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sluxton
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | sluxton
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
Thankyou for sharing this story.  I still have tears in my eyes.  I hope you and your teenager are recovering emotionally and mentally.  Mental health, has become more and more prominant and I think most of us could say at some point we have had terrible thoughts about our own lives.  Unfortunately, when we were all growing up though, mental health counselling was not really as readily accepted or given, but thank goodness it is now. 


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vlooi
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | vlooi
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
I feel for you and other parents like you!  Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. You are right, if the person really want to end their life, they will.  No matter what.  It may be hard to say and understand, but you as a parent have no need to feel guilty about not being able to stop this.  A friend of mine had a son, who for reasons still unknown, wanted to end his life and he did.  It took him many attempts and many attempts at stopping him by not only his parents, but also the police.  If life is so bad, who are we???


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Flicka
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | Flicka
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
I can see why this needed to be shared.  I truly feel for you and you child, and any other family affected by suicide.


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angelatheart
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | angelatheart
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
ohhhh thats horrible. poor thing. great advice.


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ellamia
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | ellamia
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
Thats soo really sad and frustrating for yourself to go through this.


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SamanthaKing
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | SamanthaKing
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
Wow I am really sorry to hear what you have experienced and as a mother it's one event that I'm sure we all pray that we never have to face.  Thankfully your child is still alive and has the chance to work through their problems and explore a new way of life.  Thankyou so much with sharing what must be extremely painful for you.


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janicepovey
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | janicepovey
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

My dear friend....we had spoken about this event....but my heart broke for you all over again, reading this article. No parent should have to experience, such a heart wrenching event, ever. Let alone twice.

Hugs & love Janice xxxx



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Deborahsc2203
5.00 (Excellent) | August 2007 | Deborahsc2203
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

im balling my eyes out as i read this ,, oh angie ,, i wish there was something i could do to take all this pain away from you and your family,,

just know that i will always be here for you though thick or thin xxxxxxxxxxx



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KathrynR1402
5.00 (Excellent) | August 2007 | KathrynR1402
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

Thanks for sharing. I hope now he'll get the help he needs to turn himself around.

I remember being 8 and finding a family member after an overdose - horrible. Happily they never tried again, but there are still emotions 3 decades later.

You situation just goes to show - you can only ever do the best job you can - kids will do what they will do, especially in their teens. They make their own choices and sadly have to live with them. If it can happen to a great mum like you then none of us are immune. I hope my girls make good choices when they're your child's age, but I can't make them do anything. 



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      KathrynR1402
5.00 (Excellent) | August 2007 | KathrynR1402
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
hmmm, didnt pick the best phrase there, I was speaking generally in the last paragraph.


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FremantleDocker
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | FremantleDocker
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
OMG. I'm the mother of 2 teens and one in October and all boys might i add, and they do have alot of problems, peer pressure etc but my heart really went out to you when i read this. My gosh. I'm still crying. It must be really heartbreaking for you for your son to do this. You are never a bad parent. Big hugs for you. If you ever need to chat, please minti mail me.


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jenlemen
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | jenlemen
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
wow!  this is heartbreaking.  my thoughts and best wishes are with you--i hope peace and calm comes to all involved--mostly you!--soon.  so sad.  and brave of you for sharing.


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emmysmum
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | emmysmum
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
well angie, you know i love you all.... you are my surrogate family.... you know that if you ever need me that i am here.... i really wish i coulda been there for you and my bros and sisters at such a terrible time!
But keep your chin up mum, cos you are a wonderful mum and us kids couldn't ask for anyone better! MWA


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cookclan
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | cookclan
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.
Thank you to everyone who has voted and commented on this article....I could have replied to each individually but that will take ages hehe....And fill the activity page LOL...I had tried to puclish this article as anon as you can probably tell by the way it is written...I didn't work but I am glad that people who really do care about me and mine now know what has happened...Once again guys thank you so much for all your comments and well wishes....Mwah Angie


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belinda03
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | belinda03
Re: A Childs Suicide attempt, Through a mothers eyes.

i am so sorry i feel so sorry for you and your daughter .. i will pray for you and your daughter

 



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