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Transitioning to Two: What to do when you have your hands full with your first born and your new baby |
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by jenlemen  (July 2007) (rank 19th) |
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I am surrounded these days by new mothers making the transition from one to two. Here are my best tips from my own days of trying to figure out the two kid maze.
- Easy does it. Transitioning to two children can be an overwhelming adjustment.
Do yourself a favor and refrain from using the ease you’ve achieved with one child as a standard for how things should be automatically with two. Plan to do half as much in the early days in twice the time. Trust me, this is normal.
- Tag team. If your partner has been hands off or minimally involved with your firstborn, this is the time to enlist him as your right hand man. One-on-one defense is your best strategy to getting everyone’s needs met in a reasonable fashion.
- Ask for help. Then ask again. It’s true—there is decidedly less hoopla from friends and family when you bring home number two. No one wants to intrude as your little family nests or interfere with your now well-established parenting style. Even so, if you sound the call, they’ll all come coming. If you need help with meals, cleaning or entertaining big sister—say so.
- Just drive, baby. On those days when you can’t get everyone settled and you really need the break of being hands free, don’t hesitate to load up the kiddos and take a nice long drive. They’ll fall asleep, you’ll have the luxury of quiet reflection time and there’s always drive-thru to cover dinner on your way back home.
- Buddy up with No. 1. Nursing a newborn 24/7 leaves you lots of time to think about how you miss your new big boy. Ask your spouse to give you regular, uninterrupted time to read and snuggle with your oldest child. Even 15 minutes will do both your souls good and provides an opportunity for your partner to bond with baby.
