How Much Time Is Enough

How much time is enough to spend with your kids?

Is there a pre determined amount of time that you must spend?  Some sources would say that you need to spend every minute with your children.   That to not spend time will mean you will miss out on a defining moment, an important mile stone or that your child will be disadvantaged in some way.

Over the past 6 months this issue has been raised for discussion amongst family and friends and I have come to the belief,  that sometimes parents can become a little selfish and want time with their kids for their own reasons rather than what is actually good for the children.  Now don't get me wrong I certainly don't think children should be raised completely by others if you have the means and the time to raise them yourselves but there is nothing wrong with exposing them to different circles of support:

Daycare
Grandparents
Friends
Creche
Aunts
Uncles

to name a few.

The ultimate goal of any parent is to support your child to become a responsible happy & content adult.  It has been said on more than one occasion that in the past children were raised by a whole community rather than individual parents.  What happened to this mentality?  Surely a child cannot learn all they need to know just from their parents alone? 

I certainly don't know the answer to all of life's questions and I have had different experiences to that of my dad or sister, or the carers at day care.  Why should our children not receive the benefit of learning from these experiences by spending time with the people who have had them.  Exposure to others also cultivates relationships (good or bad) that may not have had the opportunity otherwise. 

My parents love the time they spend with our child whether we are their or not but both firmly believe they would not have the close relationship they have with her if they weren't given the opportunity to spend time with her by herself, without our intrusion into their special time.  Each member of our child's community has a special role to play in her life and she is thriving as a result.

With that said the time that is spent with children should be quality time.  It is not necessarily about how much time you spend but how you spend the time you actually have.  Every opportunity you have give them complete attention, ensuring it is an activity important to them that will spark their interest.  Spending time with our kids doesn't mean 24 hour availability it means something as simple as a cuddle or showing them how to make tea with thier new tea set.