Talking A Different Language - edited and updated

I once wrote an advice titled "Fun With Ice" and a member commented that, upon viewing the title, she had made the instant assumption it pertained to crystalized methamphetamine. Much to her delight she discovered that it was about mere frozen water. Oh, the joys of language!

In

the past 40 years, society has gone crazy about political correctness. We are obliterating terminology that was previously considered to be acceptable because we suddenly starting finding common words offensive. Terms such as postman and fireman are no longer used due to sexist connotations. We have to say chalkboard instead of blackboard. Our children are learning to sing "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep" at school to avoid any racist profiling.  We wonder where this will stop, yet we perpetuate the problem by making more everyday words offensive. 

When half the names of animals on the planet are also used to describe sex and drugs, will we have to re-name all the animals in order for our children to read politically correct literature? When I was a child, the only word I had to worry about alternative meanings for was 'gay', which meant 'happy and bright' as far as I was concerned. Somewhere along the line it took on sexual connotations, and even more recently it has become used to describe something that is less than desirable or unfashionable. As I grew up, more and more words changed their meanings, and now I find myself treading in alternative meanings, puns, and misconstuances every time I open my mouth!

This advice is going to get auto-reported for bad language - again - because I'm going to give a list of words and their inoffensive meanings! If that is not sad enough, think about this: as you are reading the list, how many of the words didn't you know the inoffensive meanings of? How many of these words do your children know the inoffensive meanings of? Most of the offensive meanings of these words have come about within the past 40 years or less - ironic given that during that time we've been fighting against offensive language! What does that say about our generation? Are we the generation that has made all these words offensive? - I'm afraid to say, yes we are. Are we more easily offended than previous generations? No, we aren't - because we have exposed ourselves to this offensiveness so much that we have become resistant to it: so much so, that when we hear many of the words on the list below, we automatically think of the offensive meaning first.

Hopefully, you will look at many of these words and wonder, "and what else could that mean?" because you haven't heard the offensive alternate meaning. I am not going to give the offensive meanings here, but I will seperate the words into three groups: sexual references, drug references, insults and other. If you have looked at many of these words and, not only did you know the offensive meaning, but it was the first thing that came to mind; what sort of language are you passing onto your children? When we use these words in their offensive context, and our children hear us use it that way, they learn it's primary meaning as being the offensive one. Is this really the language that we want to be passing onto our children? Just maybe, if we could start looking at our language differently and using these words in the way they are supposed to be used, our children might learn to do the same.

These are many, but not all, of the words that can be considered offensive in today's English language:

SEXUAL REFERENCES:

· gay - bright and happy; a girl's name.

· faggot - a bundle of dry sticks or herbs. 

· lemon - a sour fruit; something that doesn't work.

· cock - a male domestic fowl; to move something into a position (such as the hammer of a firearm, the brim of a hat, etc). To swagger or strutt like a rooster; pile of hay; to pile up hay into cocks; a quick upward movement.

- cockchafer - a type of beetle.

· horny - used to describe the texture or characteristics of something being hard and tough, like an animal's horn.

· bi - prefix meaning two.

· dyke or  dike- a ditch or watercourse; an embankment; a type of rock. Slang term for a toilet.

· fag - to fatigue, exhaust; labourious work. Slang term for a ciggarette. Slang term for a young school boy who runs errends for an older school boy.

· dick - clever person; short for of the boy's name Richard.

· fanny - a girl's name.

· ass - donkey, domesticated animal closely related to the horse.

· pussy - affectionate term for a cat, domesticated animal kept as pets.

· cum - used between nouns to indicate a combined nature (eg: kitchen cum dining room)

· muff - tube shaped furry covering for the hands.

· nymph - young insect; mythological maiden of divine nature.

· doodle - meaningless drawing; to draw or scribble meaninglessly.

· hooker - field position in the sport of rugby.

· prick - pierce slightly; a mark, hole, or pain caused by pricking.

· oral - spoken, not written; pertaining to the mouth.

· balls - spherical objects, commonly children's toys.

· golden shower - an orange-gold flower (Pyrostegia venusta).

· tit - any of a genus of small songbirds, well known for their pretty song-like calls.

· madam - polite form of addressing a woman. ·

 mistress - a woman who has control of people or things; a female teacher.

DRUG REFERENCES:

· ice - frozen water; to cover a cake with frosting.

· bitch - female dog, domesticated animal often kept as pets.

· dope - lubricating liquid; dull witted person.

· grass - plants belonging to the order Gramineae or Poaceae (cereals, bamboo, hay, and the stuff we cut with a lawnmower)

· ecstacy - a state of extreme emotion, usually pleasurable.

· heroine - female hero or great woman (note: the spelling is different but pronounciation is the same)

· trip - a journey, tour, excursion.

· tripper - a person who takes trips, a tourist.

· crack - fracture, split; break, open; sudden loud noise; of the highest quality. · cone - a shape with a circular base, tapering to a point; the fruit of connifers (eg: pine cones).

· pot - a round vessel; a type of headwear; measure of capacity; deep hole in ground containing water; prize or money.

· skunk - a forest animal known for it's terrible smelling defensive odour.

· mull - to heat and spice wine or beer; mess and muddle; thin soft fabric; a specific type of snuffbox.

· snuff - to sniff, inhale through nose; extinguish; charred wick of a tallow candle.

· snuffbox - container for holding tobacco.

· weed - any plant that grows where it is not wanted; the act of removing weeds.

· hash - meat dish; to chop up meat.

· joint - place where two things are joined; a building or institution.

· hooch - alcohol made or obtained contrary to prohibition law.

· hydro - used in conjunction with scientific terms, denoting water.

· reefer - a type of jacket; reef knot; someone who reefs.

· acid - substance with Ph level below 7.

· soap - a substance used for washing and cleaning.

· smack - significant trace of quality; slap; loud sudden noise; small fishing boat.

· horse - a domesticated hoofed animal, commonly used for riding and pulling carts.

· elephant - a large tusked animal, known to be the largeest living land mammal.

· hammer - a tool for striking; to strike or drive with a hammer.

· poison - a toxin, toxic substance; any action or system that is destructive; to use or inflict a poison.

· gear - equipment; piece of machinery consisting of cogged wheels contolling speed of the moving part.

· slow - not moving or working quickly; reduce speed.

· fit - suitable; in good health; fix in place; to make appropriate; sudden outburst of emotion of activity.

· steel - strong alloy of iron and carbon; to mentally prepare for something difficult.

· fix - fasten securely in position;repair; agree on or settle; influence a result dishonestly; an awkward situation.

· coke - substance derived from coal, used for heating. Shortened term for the brand name Coca-Cola, a caffinated soft drink.

· rock - hard part of the Earth's crust; large stone; a hard sweet; loud music with heavy beat; to move back and forth in a steady motion; shock greatly.

· candy - sweets.

· toot - sound made by a horn or whistle; to make such a sound. A slang term for a toilet.

· flake - thin flat piece of something; to break apart into flakes. A trademarked name for a type of chocolate bar.

· crystal - glass-like mineral; high quality glass; a symetrical piece of a solidified substance.

· paste - adhesive; thick moist substance.

· whizz - move rapidly creating a hissing sound.

· zip - move at high speed; interlocking toothed fastener.

· eve - evening; day/night before a special event; girl's name.

· milk - substance secreted from mamillary glands for feeding young; to extract milk; gain unfair advantage; exploit.

· wet - soaked or covered with liquid, not dry.

· amp - short for ampere, unit of measurement of electric current.

· needle - small pointed device, used for sewing or knitting; arm of a compass.

· pipe - hollow tubing.

 INSULTS:

- mole - small furry animal that lives underground.

- dog - a domestic canine animal.

- bitch - a female domestic canine animal.

- bastard - child born out of wedlock; illegitimate; having an abnormal shape or size.

- tart - sour in taste; small open pie, usually with sweet filling.

 - nag - a type of horse.

- black - the darkest colourless tone; devoid of colour; darkness; evil.

OTHER:

- Sweet FA - Stands for Sweet Fanny Adams, meaning nothing at all.

- cock-up - a superscripted letter or number, most commonly used in abbreviations or mathematics.

SPECIAL THANKS TO...

Angie for her comprehensive series of articles about drugs, they proved a great research resource for this article.

OzBinky and a few other friends, for letting me pick their twisted minds; and men in general for subjecting me to years of sexual innuendos.

Many hardcopy editions of Collins, Webster, Oxford, MacQuarrie, and Botanica dictionaries, thesauruses, and reference books.

The Minti database for auto-reporting this for 13 word violations the first time it was ever posted, and proving what I was writing about to be real.

The members that went and voted this article out of the dungeon - every time I've edited it, including this one.

Members for posting comments on the old version, giving me new words and meanings to add to the list this time around.

And lastly, Raych's corrupted mind for inspiring this in the first place.

I love you all.