It's great when we can say that we know something, but just as useful is knowing where to get the information from when we don't know it. I could go off and get a degree and write a book on this subject, but then it would take me years before

Every child is different, every situation is different, every child will be effected differently, and every child will react differently if they are unfortunate enough to be exposed to abuse. Abuse comes in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and neglectful, and they vary considerably from the obvious to the unseen, from direct abuse to indirect (such as witnessing domestic violence for example). But there is one thing they will all have in common: the child will have a need for caring, comfort, security, and support. Obviously, you are their first and greatest supporter. Everything you say and do can make a huge difference in their recovery. So what do you need to do?

For a start, be very careful about how you display your own emotions. Your child will probably be scared, confused, angry, upset, and may feel very alone and vulnerable, even guilty. You may feel much the same way. If you display such negative emotions in a negative way, it will be a lot harder for your child to deal with their own emotions and they will not learn how to display them appropriately. However, you must allow you child to understand that it is okay to feel this way. What makes the difference is how they express it. If they become overwhelmed with emotion, it may help to take them aside to a quiet safe place, sit with them and talk it through - or even just let them cry. However, don't make them cry ot talk about anything if they aren't ready to do so. They will need to cry about it, and they will need to talk it out, but trying to make them to do any of this before they are ready to do so in their own time can be detrimental. If they suddenly approach you out of the blue and want to talk or have a cuddle and a cry, drop everything and give them the opportunity to do so. If you let that moment slip by, you may not get it back again, and your child may end up keeping it bottled up indefinately - and that is not healthy.

Of course, we as parents are multi-skilled. We have to be, and there is so much that we need to know it's enough to make your head spin if you think about it long enough. The sad fact is, we can't know everything. And, it usually isn't until after we have been faced with a situation that we consider learning about it. This is where seeking professional help is something that is necessary and a very wise thing to do when we need it. There is no need to feel ashamed or embarassed about asking for professional help. We aren't perfect, we can't be, and that is why these services exist - because we need them. So, where do we go for help after we have discovered that our child has suffered abuse? There are a lot of places to go for help and information, and which ones you turn to will largely depend on what your child's needs are and what is available in your area.

The first place of enquiry can be where you made your report. The police can give you information on services in your area, as can your local child welfare departments. Ask your doctor, enquire at your local medical centre, health clinic, and hospital as well. These are fairly obvious places to seek help and information, but they aren't the only places to go.

The child's school, kindergarten or child care centre may be able to refer you to various services and may even have their own counsellors on-site that can help. If your child doesn't attend one of these places (for example, they are home-schooled), the schools and child care centres in your area may still be able to provide you with information about what is available in the area to suit your childs needs.

Your state government and local council can also provide information on public and private services in your area. In Australia, Centrelink can also provide this information. Local community houses, children's associations, parent associations, and carers associations are good places to make enquiries. Check the Yellow Pages under the headings of Children's Services, Family Services, Help and Support, Clubs and Associations.

Charities such as St Vincent De Paul, the Salvation Army, Red Cross and Anglicare can not only provide you with a wealth of information, but they also have many of their own support services that you can access; as can most church groups.  Do not be too shy or proud to ask for their help, or steer away from these services just because they have a religious background. They are there because we need them to be, and they should accept and help you regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof. If you come across someone who is discriminating towards you because of your religious preference, just ask to talk to someone else in the organisation. We all end up needing their services for some reason at some point in our lives and most of the people that work for these organisations understand that.

Other very useful resources in Australia are: NAPCAN, the Parent Helpline, Lifeline and Kids Help Line. These are all listed in the phone book and an internet search for the name will bring up any web sites they have, as well as links to other useful sites. Explain to your child that if ever they need to talk to someone that will listen to them properly and care about what they are saying, they can phone the Kid's Help Line at anytime, and give them the number. Teach them how to use the phone to call this number if they haven't already learned how. This is their special number to talk about their special problems. Don't restrict their opportunities to call. It is an Australia-wide free call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 1800 55 1800.

And finally, there are the more unique services of organisations such as BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse). If your child is scared and feeling alone in the world, has to face their abuser in court at some stage, or just needs the extra comfort of knowing someone is out there watching out for them, this organisation is definately one worth checking out. They are the real-life superheros of many children around the world and they exist for one purpose: to protect and support child victims of abuse. Yes, they are fully legal in Australia nad the USA, and if my memory serves me correct they have contacts in the UK as well. They will not be a negative influence on your child in any way despite the stereotype they portray.

In difficult situations you can never have too much help available. Don't be afraid to contact all of these services as each one is different and can provide different types of information, help and support. Which ones can help you and which ones you need, will limit the services you can use enough without adding to the problem by being unwilling to contact them in the first place. I certainly hope you never need this information. I hope you never need to pass it on to anyone else. I've recently needed to find this information it myself, so I'm passing it on to anyone else that may be in a similar situation. I hope it helps.