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 4.79 (Highly recommend) from 24 votes (400 Visits) |
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Little Ones Grow Up Fast, House Work Can Wait |
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by LavendaLady  (August 2007) (rank 500+) |
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Little Ones Grow Up Fast, House Work Can Wait
I am first time Mum. I am a Mum who tried to do everything! When my son was five months of age I would get up at 6.30/7am each morning and shower and dress. I'd get my son up also and all three of us would have breakfast together. Then bath and dress my son, then tidy the kitchen, do a load of clothes washing and put the dryer on and do the dishes. I'd time it so that I could do all of it under 30 minutes. Meanwhile my son would play and need period checks in case of a lost toy or TLC. Then his nap time. I'd continue with the housework until he woke again at 11.00 I'd be the first to rise each morning and the last to go to bed. My day's were highly structured and I did not rest enough! Sure the house was looking better than it ever had since we had moved in but I was exhausted and looking worse than I ever had. My spirit was drowning in the endlessness of it and I kept forcing myself to continue.
Why?
I took to heart the critical and cruel words that were uttered from my Step Mother In Law in November 2006 to heart. She had insulted my house keeping and had insulted her step son. I had been hurt and did believe that I was failing as a homemaker and Mum....
The reality is Housework NEVER ends. You will repeat and repeat the cleaning! You will be always tidying up toys, books, pots and pans, clothes, rooms etc.
But!
A beautiful baby does NOT last. They are so little for such a short period of time in their life. Your time with them is PRECIOUS. You matter so very much to your little one and in time that baby will matter so very much to you. Once they have passed through each stage it is forever gone. You need to enjoy your time with your baby as much as possible. Get lots of cuddles, give lots of affection. In years to come you will have happy memories about the relationship you had with your baby now a child or grown up. In years to come, I can't imagine any Mum wishing she'd spent more time doing housework than cuddling her precious baby.
So Some Helpful Ideas To Start With
- Be gentle on yourself. Ask others to be gentle..
- Accept the house will never be spotless and perfectly tidy 24/7. Baby care comes before housework. You, your partner and family come before housework.
- Write a list of the basic chores that must get done weekly
- Write a list of the chores you'd love done such as have that fence mended
- Work out some shortcuts to get things done
- Admit to yourself that you cannot and will not do every single chore in the house
- Ask your partner to assist and specify what you would like them to do each week as an expected chore. Such as iron his own shirts, make his own lunch etc
- When tired suggest a pizza night or that your partner cooks and cleans up the kitchen after woods
- Ask your partner to arrange that suitable help be organised to do the chore's that he cannot do outside the house.
- Investigate getting someone local into help clean your house each week for a few hours. A great gift idea for a new Mum is getting her some home help for a few months
- Set aside time daily for you to have a cuppa, put your feet up, read/watch TV. Do something for you that makes you feel like you!
- Stay happy and healthy
- Set aside specific time for you each day to play and cuddle with baby.
- Do take the opportunity to sleep when baby does or at least rest when baby does
- Do go out with friends, walks to the park
- Do call up a friend for a support chat
- Visit Minti and confide/blog and read advice
Please new Mum don't listen to criticism about the housework from relatives and friends! Most often this comes from someone who just doesn't recall/or know what it's like to be a sleep deprived busy new Mum or a Mum of a toddler or being a MUM PERIOD!
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| ADVICE RATING |
4.79 (Highly recommend) from 24 votes |
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Re: Little Ones Grow Up Fast, House Work Can Wait
Hi there IImunchkin,
Great to see that you have commented on this article also 
Guess what!? My Dad bought new new Jammies just for that purpose! LOL
I agree that first year goes sooo fast!
Take Care,
Lavendalady
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Re: Little Ones Grow Up Fast, House Work Can Wait
Hi Julie *smiles*
Great to hear from you!
In my professional life I am a Nursing Care Coordinator. In that role I am responsible for the care of 49 residents. It has been very challenging to get things done in terms of meeting their diverse needs. I am a systems orientated person so that helps. I have my lists and routines and try to think things through before doing them...and this extends into my home life.
BUT since having my son, I admittedly fell inlove with being his Mum, the role, with being with him, playing with him and hearing his laugh and seeing his expressions... I did start late with having my son. It was an unexpected blessing. A very much wanted blessing.
I do have my days where just getting the basics done is really tough as I do miss the sleep in's and the indulgent lengthy "me time" associated with doll restoration. I do not have time for that now.
I also have days where all I really want to spend much time being with my son and not much on the house! I treasure these days and I think in my heart that they are special to him too.
Housework waits and I catch up eventually.... *grin* Our precious living baby's come first.
Take Care,
Lavendalady
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Re: Little Ones Grow Up Fast, House Work Can Wait
Thankyou August88!
What animals do you have?
You know guilt is an interesting thing! Many parents use it on their kids and kids use it on their parents.... also in many cases a person can generate so much guilt all by themselves based on how they think things ought to be in their life. Such as thinking "I ought to be a Mum that can do all of my own housework, play with my child, know all the best games and be a super attractive/sexy wife/partner and great cook." But many of us do come to accept reality. It is interesting to read that overly high and unrealistic self critism has been linked to as being a majour case of PND.
As far as animals go. Long before my son was born I simply banned them from the house. No more cat fur and endless vaccuming and ruined funiture to contend with and I love it! My motto is humans before animals. My sanity before animals! I choose to house my cats in a RSPCA approved cat cage at night.
When vistors bring their animals I insist they DO stay outside. It can be hard to enforce (especially when a female may baby her dog and cat and think it's too cold to be outside) but I remind them that I have a young child, I am responsible for the condition of the child and house and that this is my house and not theirs. I have one such friend that lets her cat and dog stay in the house and defecate, urinate and destroy the place. She does has anxiety and depression and one of her big problems is that she can't keep up with the mess these animals make thus she gets more depressed etc.
Sometimes when I think I really should do more in my home or let my two cats in for a while, I recall the state of her house and the mess and decide to take myself and my son out to play with them instead! Afterall being outside is best for animals and being outside and playing with our two cats is a double treat for my son. Plus my house remains free of any unexpected surprises.
Take Care,
Jenni
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. Time flies! Every age is great, and sleep deprivation isnt so bad, when you compare it to disciplining a two year old, a three year old or a 4 year old (3 was my least favourite but 4 was great)! And the house hasnt fallen down yet, and we're rarely at the doctors, so it cant be too bad LOL!
