Working and kids...oh the first tears..

Give yourself a break....and be kind to yourself as you are doing what you needed to do, earn money to give your children food, shelter, clothing and pay your own bills.  The feelings you have may be of separation, or could you be depressed...if you are not feeling well, perhaps

a visit to your dr would help. However, your kids are  very resilient, and after a few tears, will probably be just fine, as long as you give them hugs, and make a "quick departure" this is the key from all child care providers I've had.  You feel real pain, however, if you can put your happy hat on, you need to give a "happy face to your kids upon departure" and tell them who what where and why at home, so they understand your need to work. I've been there and done this, it is not easy. Their attention span is not that long, as are our  wrenching feelings.   If you can spend "quality time" with your kids in the am, have them jump in your bed...be silly ....then all have breakfast together....your kids will remember this, getting up 15minutes early so you won't feel rushed or stressed.  If they take a boxed lunch write a love note for them, about what you are doing at work, and how you'll  have fun together when work is finished for the day.  As a single mom, I have found that getting my son into a working routine, helping me around the house(yes he loves to vac, dust with fun music, and we dance around during the cleaning), being organized, and I'm not one for spotless floors, I'd rather be on them with my son, all will be well. Try www.flylady.com  *fly* stands for *finally loving yourself*...enough to give yourself what you need to give to others what they want and need...with boundaries. Working is a part of life, as is separation, from birth to death, despite the difficulty of feelings of loss.  If you leave your kids in child care, make it fun on the way, sing songs, tell them how much fun you are going to have, then when you pick them up, be upbeat, ask what they did for the day, how proud you are of them...this will help you to lift your own mood when you hear them telling happy stories.  Be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can....think of all the poor poor kids who have the painful love of child abuse, instead of a mom who cares, and wants the best for her kids.  Find this book if you can, it is all about quality time for kids, "Floor Time" by Stanley Greenspan.... The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish, by T. Berry Brazelton and Stanley I. Greenspan.*sorry about size is another great book to read. These books can guide you and help you with "your feelings" and perhaps bring you some understanding and peace of mind too about how your kids feel and what they want/need from you too.  Simple...acceptance, love, and a feeling of safety. Take care of yourself.  Simba1