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What does PND feel like? The end of your world. |
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Anonymous Author (August 2007) |
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Re: what does PND feel like?
anonymous
Question:
I've been feeling really anxious about my life lately. i know i've only recently had a baby and i should be focussed on looking after her but i've been feeling that i've lost my independence as
I'm finding it difficult to leave the house by myself even to run a simple errand. also i've stopped working and feel really cut off from people. thank god for the internet.
i love my baby, but i feel she's got a raw deal in having me as a mum.
My Advice:
I hope this will go some way to helping.
I suffered Post Natal Depresion with both my lovely Bubs. The first time was hell. I loved my little Roo. She was a blessing I never thought we would have and here I was being totally detached from everyones joy. I would cry at the slightest mis-hap, I could not sleep, would have to prepare myself hours in advance if I needed to go out and be really scared about it. I convinced my self that I was not a good mum, that everything I did was wrong. My life fell apart ,I knew no other mums and thought they would think me a bad mum anyway. I would snap at my husband and fall apart if anyone pointed at a better way of doing things.This little bundle had come into my life and completey taken over. I lost my self and my confidence. There were moments when I thought that she would be better off without me. All the other mums in the world could cope,why couldnt I.
I mentioned it to my Health visitor in utter despiration and bang, I was down to the Docs before I could dry the tears. This is approx what my Doc told me.
PND is a form of post traumatic stress. It is not all hormonal and has been around since the birth of the first humans. You are not an abnormal,bad or indifferent mum. You are a woman who's body and mind has suffered a trauma. To top it all your normal support network has evaperated and you find youself alone in a new space with unknown boundries. IT does not matter if the birth was hard or easy, you psychy has suffered a shock and you will need help, support and drugs to aid you through the healing process. Other mums new and experienced will help your confidence as you hear them chatter about all your worries, So get along to the mother and toddlers groups, get a friend to go with you or take hubby. Cry as you hold your bub and tell them all you worries, they set no conditions and will love you whatever. The situation is new to them too and you will learn togeather. Be easy on yourself and call anybody and everybody and tell them, what is happening and that you will need all hands on deck support for the next four weeks, untill the drugs start to take effect and you start to build contact with other mums and find your feet.
15% of first time mums admit to suffering PND there are also a lot who dont. IT is so common and normal a condition that your health visitor can test you,by using the Edinburgh Scale. Just a 10 minute Q&A session. This test is recognised the world over, which just goes to prove how common PND is.
Winnies advice is that if you think you have PND then you probably do. IT is a normal condition that some women face and it does not make you a bad mummy, just a sad mummy. Go talk to the doc, your health visitor or the practice nurse. IT does not matter who you first contact just tell them and ask for help and support, most will help guide you through. Get down to mummy and baby groups and eves drop on conversations. You will be surprised at what you hear from the most experienced of mums. Be gentle on yourself and keep reminding both you and bub that this is first time for you both,and a little give and take will get you there. Most importantly keep your partners,family and friends in the loop and use them for support and time out. Love and best wishes to all mums everywhere. Hope this helps someone.
Court
