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ADVICE RATING |
 5.00 (Highly recommend) from 30 votes (423 Visits) |
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Abuse and Forgiveness |
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by emmie  (August 2007) (rank 30th) |
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Ok im writting this article due to something i have been thinking about alot in the last few days and i think it is something everybody has differant opinions on and i say now before i go any further that i also respect all other opinions after all we are  all differant.
Can u get on with ur life after u have been abused without FORGIVING ?????
Well my answer to this is a great big yes , i have and im ure others have too im not saying ive wiped it clean out of my life but now i know he was wrong i was a child and innocent , he did this to me out of his free will he did not make a mistake every dayof my living youth that same mistakke day in day out , the black eyes the bruises that travelled up my back , inside my whole body was bleeding my mum never believed me nioow why should i forgive this man , he meant this hurt and damage he has torn me away from my family leaving me to stand by myself i went to the police after yrs of torment and abuse thanks to my partner he was arrested and put on bbail it worked ouut the videos were gone my sister was living at home there was no way she was talking to the polie he ended up getting a caution after this i was scared so i ran we moved over 200 miles i decided to find my dad and tell him i tried and tried to get an injunction on him my parents were trying to get information ot of my senile grandmother who revealed im safe and living in my town name and i was witth my father my mother harrassed and harrassed her until i had an injunction against her and with this was a letter that i only wished for my sister to ever gain contact with me and know my whereabouts and she confirmed she never wants see me again thank god there were 3 of us he abused 1 of which is now dead so do i forgive him NO not in a million worlds i would not spit on him if he was on fire i know people do come to bring theirselfs to forgive for such an act but i never will he is a very evil man although i am over the abuse i would not be able to face him believe me ive tried calling a thousand times to tell him how much he ruined our lifes but nothing comes out
How can you abuse the child you are a responsible father to i used to ask myself is it the drink but NO thats no excuse to abuse a innocent child no matter how much was hurting he would still keep going hurting me more and more i could shout but whats the point im not believed nobody is listening to the crying shouting or screaming im alone once again why should i forgive any of this it was all meant he was supposed to be my dad he was supposed to love me and take care f me i only remember 1 dayhe ever took care of me he ruined my childhood and mostof all he ruined me .
Is it essential to forgive ????
NO if u dont want to forgive if u cant find it in you to forgive then DONT its your cvhoice , your life and your healing and dont ever let anybody tell you that u have to forgive your abuser because you dont its your body that has took the pain and your mind too as far as im concerned my abuser can rot in hell and i will go to his funeral to dance on his grave but that time will come there is no excuse for abuse ecspecially a innocent child
Thanks for reading
PS If ur child tells you they are being abused please DONT ignore it your child needs you
Thanks
Emz xX
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| ADVICE RATING |
5.00 (Highly recommend) from 30 votes |
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Re: Abuse and Forgiveness
hello emmie, i myself was abused when i was younger, so understand your pain. i forgot about it all, until i had my son, then it all came flooding back. i was a total wreck, but i got counseling, which helped a lot,as it allowed me to express my anger, aswell as letting me know i wasn't to blame, which was a hugh relief, as i felt it was my fault. As i became older i realised that i had anger issues, and was very defensive towards people, quick to fight and argue for my rights. through the counseling, i came to understand that it was because i was still carrying around that abuse with me everyday, everything that people did to me that hurt seemed like the abuse all over again. i couldn,t live like that anymore, but didn't know what to do until someone told me i had to forgive my abuser, WHAT! FORGIVE! Yeah, forgive, it doesn't mean that you let that person of the hook, far from it, but you let go of that ball of destructive energy that you've kept inside because it will poison you, and cause you to become ill. it will limit you're life and stop you from reaching your goals. you didn't deserve that abuse, you father is a sick man and may have been abused himself, don't allow him to still have control over you, and he does when you don't forgive. abuse is about power, and he still has the power over you, because he's still affecting you even though you've moved miles away. that unforgiveness will cause you to continue to feel pain and anger and him. forgiveness is for your peace of mind, for your wellbeing. it hurts more i know that nobody believed you, but i believe that you are a strong courageous woman and that if you will take the focus and energy of off them and start loving and taking care of youself, you'll find that you will be able to let it go. also pray and ask god to help you to forgive, but waht you need to know, is that YOU choose whether to forgive or not. sometimes we don't know how to, but if you really want to start living free from abuse, start searching how to forgive. i promise you, you will not be the same, then you will be able to help others through their hurts and pains. good luck with starting to invest all your energy into yourself to become a beautiful woman. that would be the greatest revenge on them. XXXXX from loren
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Re: Abuse and Forgiveness
Wow Emmie, I am so sorry that you had to endure all that pain. I was sexually abused by my grandmother's brother when I was just a young girl. When I was finally able to break down and tell my mother what happened, she pulled the car over to the side of the road and cried with me. It was such a weight lifted off my shoulders just talking about it, but it didn't solve the issue of him abusing me. My mother asked me not to say anything to my grandmother, she was worried what it would do to her. I became a difficult teenager because I felt betrayed and hurt, one day my grandmother said something very mean to me and well my mouth opened and I spewed out that her brother had abused me. She didn't say a word, she just turned around and walked away. Later I found out she had written to him about what I told her, and denied everything, to the day he died he said he didn't do anything.
Before he died, my grandmother told me he was dying of lung cancer, all I could say was I'm sorry for you. In a way, I did find some forgiveness for him, because I knew that he was dying of a really bad illness, and deep down in side me, I was laughing at him, because he was dying and was going to have to answer to a higher power for what he did to me.
Thank you for sharing Emmie, it is all part of learning how to heal and move on with your life, knowing that you are a better person, and knowing that you know the correct way to love those around you, with a hug and not a fist. You go girl!!!
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