I remember lots of things growing up most of them bad memories and nightmeres
one that also stands out to me is that I had school shoes they where way to small for me but i was made to wear them for the year regarless ,, i remember the 
pain of walking in them I remember the blisters , i remember my toes feeling like they where going to drop off being pushed into a way to small shoes .. i remember the releif taking them off each day after school ( mother knew this and has said yep they where way too small for you but just didnt care )
I remember having to have safety pins in my undies as they where hand me downs and had hole in it and the elastic was of no use
I remember being in my fathers van all 5 of us as he dropped us off at school most days
i remember one by one he had us all sitting next to him in the frount seat of the van going over our times tables and getting hit in the face for getting any of it wrong and we wernt alowed to go to school untill we had got it all right
my 6 times tables i remember getting bashed about the head and seeing stars in my eyes everytime i got it wrong
I do know now that the stars in my eyes are from him hitting my head soo much i had a few blackouts
my sisters and i have all been though this and our stories of this are all the same
this part i dont remember and thank god i never had any memories of this
but my sisters still do and it haunts them to this day
my uncle used to come and visit ,
with our parents consent he used to put all 5 of us in his car and dump us off suburbs away
with no money and no way of getting home .. this was a game for them all to see if any of us will be able to make it back home and how long it took ,, obviously this was the oldest sisters delema she has to look after us all and had the huge responcability of getting us all back home safe and finding how to get back ,, she was in primary school herself
this was done often ,, this was their entertainment
another form of their entertainment was to put me high up in a trees and have my sister stand under me
so when i couldnt either hold on anymore or just slipped off she would be the one that would have to try to get me down safe or catch me as i fell down from the tree ( that is one or her nightmeres)
I remember eating the dog and cat food not cause it was cute or anything but because my parents didnt always feed me
i remember being soo thirsty and drinking the water out of the fish pond out the back
i remember drinking the food colouring also because i was so thirsty and couldnt reach the tap
my sisters had told me they just couldnt be bothered with me at all and really didnt care if i ate drank or not
i also remember as my sisters also do ,, was eating dinner that was how many days old with live maggets crawling arround all over the food but also being forced to eat it .( they didnt make us eat it cause they where poor but because they got the enjoyment out of watching us cry and be ill from it )
this happened alot
this was only a short version of what we went though as children
i remember that next door we all had befriended the shop owners ( they had a milk bar) and their children , and any hand outs of food or drink was always welcomed and we where all very quiet about it .
one day my father found out that the neibour gave me a chocolate , i also remember the bashing i had got from my father because of that and inturn was scared to even go near the shop again
i would say even know we where all shy children we where all looking for someone to help us
I remember the shop and house being sold and all of us 5 children where left to paint the house upstairs
i remember my so called father putting drop sheats down in the room and giving us all rollers and paint brushes and showing us once how to paint the walls and leaving us for the whole day with no food or drink but telling us we all had to paint the rooms
we where kids and all in primery school how on earth did this man think that 5 of us little ones could paint a room propely is behond me
there was more paint on the drop sheets than the walls and when he came back from whatever he was doing the whole day and saw the rooms we where all bashed ,,,,and told how useless where all where ...
end of part 2
(August 2007) (
