I, for one, believe they can
i can prove it with my daughter
One day I hope my sons will be my friends too
But right now they are my young sons.
The only way this is possible......
Keep your friendship between parameters.
I have often heard that family relationships break down when you treat your children as friends not children!
This may be true in lots of cases
But there has to be a reason it doesn't work
My daughter is my child and my best friend
And it works for us!!!
I am friends with my sons too but definitely not to the same degree, they are still young and need direction and discipline, which brings rules they may not like or appreciate into the bargain
Young children do not need their parents to be their friends.
They need us to be parents, friendly parents of course, but strictly parents
That still means that they can come to you at any time and talk things through with you, but they have to be prepared to accept they may not like what you have to say and may not like your response to their issues. But we are their parents we are responsible for them, answerable for them legally and want what is best for them but not at too high a price.
When they are teenagers, they will use every argument you can ever imagine to try and manipulate you into backing down
What worked for me is to insist I will only have a calm discussion with them and refuse to be drawn into heated rows!!
I would go for a walk, giving us both time out before returning to more level headed teenager, who knows I will listen as long as there is no fierce debate.
There was and always will be the occasions when communication temporarily breaks down between the parents and the teens.
But we have to always remember we are the adults, they are the hormone fuelled child
We should always remember that what is passionate to them could well be ridiculous to us
Look back to some of the things we expected our parents to agree to!!!!!
i found out that what worked for me was to sometimes step back and let them follow their hearts, knowing it would end in tears but be there waiting with a box of tissues when they needed it
Most importantly never utter those shameful words
I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!
I used to say AT LEAST YOU TRIED!!!
Now my daughter is an adult in her own mind
I trust her Judgement
I respect her Choices
i encourage her Dreams
I get on with her friends
But I am not one of her crowd
I dont believe that is appropriate for me
I like her friends, i get on with her friends BUT they are not my friends, i am just friendly towards them
I would happily go out for an evening with my daughter and enjoy myself, but I would not take over or monopolise her friends
Yes I would join in and banter with them all
But I know the "NO GO" areas for me
My Child is My Best Friend
I will always be there for her
She will always be there for me
But first and foremost
She is my Daughter
(September 2007) (
Shelley
