Self Esteem – Self Esteem is all to do with how feel about yourself, and feeling like you have a place in the world.
Self Esteem is also about what matters to you and with a good self esteem, it will help you to build a strong foundation for
life and will help you to face any challenges that may pop up in life.
Babies do not have a self esteem as such because they don’t have a sense of themselves as being a separate human being.
Toddlers begin to develop self esteem when they first start to say “no”. They are beginning to understand that they are separate from everyone else, but they build their self esteem through their parents’ eyes.
At about the age of 3-4 yrs, whilst the preschoolers still build their self esteem in a fairly physical way (e.g. I am taller, I am faster) they also realise that they have a mind and body of their own and begin to be able to spend time away from parents etc with a feeling of security.
With primary school aged children (5-12), self esteem often tends to go down hill a bit because they have to adjust to new rules, having to make friends, and also have to learn how to cope in a new environment.
In primary years, self esteem is about how well you can adjust to the learning tasks, how well you go in mini tests, how good you are and participate in sporting events and whether or not you struggle to do you homework or to make friends.
There are several ways to support the self esteem of a child – however they are mainly to support the self esteem of a primary school aged child.
Here are a few:
Show your child that you are a positive person and a happy person; this will help them to be happy and build their self esteem.
Tell your child often that you love them; this will give them a sense of feeling wanted and loved.
Spend lots of time with your child – this will help your child to understand that you do love them.
Encourage your children to achieve their goals but just remember not to be pushy about it.
Make your child’s friends welcome and encourage friendships.
Help your child to take on a hobby that she feels she may be interested in. e.g. card making, scrap booking, reading.
If your child has homework, be supportive, take interest without taking over and help where you can; if you can’t help your child, find someone who can.
Have and keep special little family rituals. E.g. special handshakes upon greeting, a story before bed or cups of hot Milo together, whilst watching a TV show before bed.
Also celebrate any achievements and successes with a special dinner or a special item.
(September 2007) (
