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My Only Parenting Trick that Works 99.9% of the Time |
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by jenlemen  (September 2007) (rank 22nd) |
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Don't ask me why, don't ask me how, but I promise you, it works like magic. At this point all I have to do is say "TEN" and they all start scrambling to do whatever it is I asked them to do. No questions asked. My friends and
neighbors think I'm nuts. "Ten?" they wonder out loud, "What does that mean?"
Let me explain.
I realized well into Madeleine's toddler years that she was struggling with transitions. Not only was it hard for her to deal with the transition itself, she had trouble knowing when the transition was actually starting. I'd start by saying something like "We're going to leave the park in two minutes" followed by an invitation to actually leave two minutes later, but she really didn't get it. Time meant next to nothing to her.
Out of frustration, I started to count--not that 1-2-3 business your mother did when you were a kid, but rather a nice countdown from ten in the spirit of space shuttles blasting off--that kind of thing. It worked like a charm. Madeleine realized immediately she was in a race against the clock, and she wanted to win! My counting was her cue to start moving; she knew exactly what to do.
I decided not to make the countdown a big punitive thing. Really, who wants to run for their life when your mother's counting down from ten. That had a panicky feeling that I wanted to avoid. And this was a good call, I think. Most of the time I never got to "ONE"--Madeleine was exactly where she needed to be in no time flat.
Now that my kids are older, I don't count much any more, but when I really, really want them to do something, it helps to have this history. When I say "TEN" they know all negotiations are officially closed and that it's time to move on. This helps all of us be clear about the expectations--something that is essential for positive discipline no matter what age your kids are.
Any ace-in-the-hole winning strategies that work like a charm at your house? Feel free to share your finest moments in the comments below.
