When a partner goes away

This advice is hard for me to write as my husband has only just gone away for work but i wanna do this while it is fresh .

Many partners have to be away for work and if yours is........ The biggest piece of advice i could give is

As many of you know my husband is in the army and went away on deployment only yesterday. It was the worst day of my life.

All i wanted to do was lock myself away and hide but I knew i couldn't. I have kept myself busy by cleaning the house and taking the kids to the park and being around friends. Having a good support network is essential to keep you going strong. Try not to fully let your emotion out in front of the kids as this can make them think its their fault that the parent is going but don't hold it all in and show none. I find the best time for me to get all the emotions out is when i'm in the shower before bed. The kids don't see it, I feel better and i know i can get up in the morning and do what i have to.

I also find that if i leave all the housework until night time i am not constantly thinking about him being away and when it's done i can relax before i shower.  Having a good support network is great as you can tell them that you are having a bad day and they can listen to how your'e feeling and try to help. If someone asks if you need anything done for you take them up on it until you feel you can handle it whether is be going over for dinner or them coming to help you out with the housework. Don't think that because your partner is gone that you have to do it all yourself, If you find it helps you deal with it better by doing it on your own, Take a break and go for a walk or run.. it doesn't matter if its not all done, It will be eventually.

Stick to the same routine that you would if the partner was home. This one is good if you have children. It may not be exactly the same but try to stick to it as much as possible. It breaks the habit of thinking about them constantly and the away partner can get back into the swing of things alot smoother upon returning.

Before the partner goes you might feel some resentment toward them for leaving you, You start to pull your emotions back so you don't feel as bad when they do leave. Your sexual desires may decrease to nothing so its easier to let them go. Arguments may increase and you may be angry and anxious. One minute you want them to hurry up and go and the next you wish that you could freeze time so they don't have to go. These feelings can also occur upon the partners return as you have been running the household and then they come back and want to slip back into their role.  We always discuss rule changes and discipline before he goes and when he gets back it helps to keep the partner informed about what is happeneing at home so if anything does change they are aware of it.. They do eventually come home and things work themselves out

BE STRONG AND HAVE THE SUPPORT NETWORK THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU