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"Teenagers are proof that mother nature has a sense of humour" .... (taken from 'Adolescence, a guide for parents' by Michael Carr Gragg)
I can understand this. My eldest offiially became a teenager yesterday, though she developed early and has had the teenage attitiude for the past couple
of years. It's tough. Your once sweet, innocent little darling suddenly becomes this monster! Michael Carr Gregg has another book with a title that pretty much sums it up - 'The Princess Bitchface Syndrome' lol
Well, there's a few things I've learnt lately that I'd like to share.
My daughter, Jess, & I had an arguement (not the first, & I'm sure not the last) about her attitude. I told her I'd had enough of her disrespect, her disobedience, & her nastiness to her siblings. I told her that I could not handle it anymore & was at a loss as to what to do as everything I had tried had been to no avail. A couple of days later I noticed marks on the inside of her forearm - she had cut herself (with a safety-pin) because she thought I did not love or want her! I told her that we will have a lot of arguements but I will never, ever stop loving or wanting her!
A 15 year old I speak to online told me that it was good that I noticed the cut marks. She said she knows girls who cut themselves & their parents do not notice. This saddens me. Are so many parents so oblivious to what their kids are doing? Is is that the parents don't get close enough to their child to notice? Is this because the parents don't care, or that they feel at a loss due to the child's behaviour?
When your 'darling' teen is driving you up the wall, please remember to let them know you love them. Give the child plenty of hugs, too. There have been times when my daughter's behaviour has made me reluctant to go near her, & when she has come to me I've shied away. What a wrong thing for me to do! When she wants a hug, she will get one.
Take notice of the way your child is feeling. Take the time to sit your child down & talk. I've told my daughter that she can always talk to me about anything, I will not judge, I will not reprimand her, I will take the time to understand her. Like with what she did to her arm - she tried to lie about it at first, spinning a story of pins in a chair. I told her she was not in trouble, I wanted to help her, so she then told the truth. We talked it over, we cried, we hugged, & we both felt better afterward.
Well, I felt better, but I was still concerned, so I made an appointment with the school counsellor. That's something else you can do. They are there to help teens. I will explain what happened & why & then have her talk to my daughter. I think this will help both of us. It will also establish a relationship with my daughter & the counsellor so she will feel more comfortable going to her in the future.
Remember that teenagers go through a lot of changes. Be patient, be understanding, take the time to listen to them, & most of all let them know they are loved.
Michael Carr Gregg has many books that can help - you can see them on his website http://www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au/ . I found both his books & others on the same topic at my local library, too.
(September 2007) (
