minti, powered by parents Powered by Parents
First Visit?     Register     Login
 

This site gets better with user participation. Please participate... Some of the main things you can do is rate this advice, add comments to this advice, add links to and from this advice, and/or write your own advice.

  email  print
  report   
Like this topic?
Write Advice
Add to Favorites
Advice that links to this one
ADVICE RATING
 (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) 4.98 (Highly recommend) from 17 votes (1384 Visits)

Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

JeanTracy by JeanTracy Talking Back(September 2007) (rank 31st)
 Is your child bullied? Does she fear being called a tattletale? Inside you’ll find 5 parenting tips to help her handle the bullies and build character too.

A Quote for Bullied Kids:

“Fear grows in darkness: if you think there’s a bogeyman around, turn on

the light.” –Dorothy Thompson

If your child experiences threats, mean teasing, hitting, or kicking help her turn on the light and handle the bully.

This Social Skill Problem Comes from Dave:

Dave reports that his 8-year-old daughter is teased by bullies. Dave stated: “The problem our daughter faces is boys who tease her and push her around on the school playground at recess.”

When kids get bullied, they face a social dilemma. They don’t want to be called a tattletale. They want their classmates to like them. They want the bullying stopped.

Pretend you are Dave. Let’s say your daughter’s name is Nellie. Consider using some of the parenting tips below:

5 Parenting Tips for Handling Bullies:

First Parenting Tip ~ Make sure your child understands that nobody has the right to push, kick, or call her names.

Second Parenting Tip ~ Consider contacting the school authorities yourself. Many schools have a ‘No Bullying Policy.’ They can help. You might prefer that your child tell the playground teacher, her teacher, or the principal, first.

Third Parenting Tip ~ Suggest that your child ask her teacher to set up a ‘Bully Box’ in the classroom. This could help the class discuss their problems and thoughts about bullies like the following:

·         A boy at my bus-stop calls me nasty names. He makes everybody laugh at me. What can I do?

·         Why are bullies so mean?

·         How can I tell on a bully without being called a tattletale?

Fourth Parenting Tip ~ Tell your child to stay with a group of friends at recess. Why? There is safety in numbers.  

Fifth Parenting Tip ~ Tell your child to look and act confident, even if she doesn’t feel like it. Use role-playing with her to accomplish the ‘confident look.’ Why? Bullies like to pick on kids who look weak.

Dave’s Bullying Solution:

I asked Dave what he did to stop the bullying.  He answered, “In second grade, our daughter would play on the playground after lunch. She reported that different boys would call her names, push her roughly, and tease her. We counseled her to walk away from them and tell the Lunch Moms who watched the kids. My wife emailed her teacher and the principal to alert them to the situation and things eventually calmed down.”

Congratulations, Dave!  Thank you for sharing this problem with both you and your wife’s solutions. I hope this helps many worried parents help their kids handle the bullies.

Social Skills Conclusion for Dealing with Bullies:

Bullies are difficult people. Learning to deal with them now is like turning on the light. It gets rid of the fear, encourages positive action, and is an important social skill to teach your kids. It builds character without being a tattletale too.

Resource Box________________________________________________________________________________

  Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.

Treat your kids to the Social Skills Kit for Kids at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd011 and watch their friendships grow.

 

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.
ADVICE RATING
 (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) 4.98 (Highly recommend) from 17 votes
Report
ExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellent
GoodGoodGoodGoodGood
AverageAverageAverageAverageAverage
PoorPoorPoorPoorPoor
Very PoorVery PoorVery PoorVery PoorVery Poor

Voting help


 
Add a comment on this article.

 

JeanTracy
April 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Rawlo,

I sure hope things turn out well for your daughter. Let me know.

Thank you for commenting.

With warm wishes,

Jean

 



Reply Reply Report
Rawlo
April 2009 | Rawlo
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

I loved your article, my daughter (8) is just starting to experience bullies so this has come at a good time...fore armed is fore warned as the saying goes! 

I will put this advise to good use i'm sure!  



Reply Reply Report
SwanbourneCooks
March 2009 | SwanbourneCooks
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

I thought your article had a lot of good points.



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
March 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

I appreciate your kind comment, SwanbourneCooks.

With warm wishes,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
larustyka
January 2009 | larustyka
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

I forgot to mention, I love the bully box idea



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
January 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Larustyka,

I'm pleased you like the bully box idea.

With warm wishes,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
larustyka
January 2009 | larustyka
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Thank you for this advise, I have been a little worried as my son starts school this year and he has 2 sisters that he has been taught to respect.... I was worried this may lead to being walked over at school by people not quite as good hearted as he is...



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
January 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Larustyka,

Congratulations for raising such a nice boy. Please keep in touch with his teacher to find out how he is getting along. I'd like to know.

With warm wishes,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
ekkaboy
January 2009 | ekkaboy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Nice article.

My little girl (grade 1 at the time) told me one day that she didn't want to go to school anymore; then that she wanted instead to change schools. She loves school, does really well at schoolwork and has heaps of friends there, so this was very strange. A D&M quickly revealed that she was being bullied at recess time on the playground; a sneaky bunch of "big" boys from grade 2 was hassling her, waiting their moments when the playground teacher wasn't watching.

After school that day I sat down with her and her teacher (my grade 2 boy was there too) and we discussed it. The teacher knew straight away who the boys were, some known troublemakers. We made a quick plan of attack: firstly, that my girl would play with other girls, her friends, rather than alone; the playground teacher on duty would be alerted to what was going on; and the teachers of the boys involved would be notified, and those boys spoken to.

My boy, bless his soul, wanted to go and beat up the boys picking on his sister, so we also had a little chat about how although I was proud of him for wanting to look after his sister - and so he should help if she's in trouble - getting into fights was not the right way to do things, that the teachers would sort it out.

We also spoke about the difference between notifying teachers of big problems and telling tales; let my girl know she had done the right thing in talking to me and the teacher about it, that she wasn't a tattletale, and that it was important not just for her but also for the boys involved so they could learn to change their bad behaviour. Plus we reinforced, of course, that no-one had the right to treat others like they had been.

I was really pleased with the way the school handled this, and the problem has not recurred at all. Seems like we followed the tips you suggested without knowing them! - and everything worked out.

Cheers! - ekkaboy



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
January 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Ekkaboy,

What a wonderful story! I hope everyone reads about what you did. I'm so happy for your daughter. Your son wanting to protect her sounds like you are raising him well. Your advice for him was excellent too.

Keep up the good parenting,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
snarp
January 2009 | snarp
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Some great tips. So glad i foudn this site.



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
January 2009 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Snarp,

I'm glad you found this site too. Welcome!

With warm wishes,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
pavementcracks70
May 2008 | pavementcracks70
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

the "bully box" what a great idea, wouldn't it  be wonderful if all schools even at entry age had these in the classroom so 'bullying' could be openly discussed and the children be involved in discussing and solving promblems at hand

thanks for another great article, rue



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
May 2008 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Rue,

I absolutely agree that it would be great if kids could discuss and problem solve bullying problems together. Great point, Rue.

Warmly,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
The-Single-Parent-Bible
May 2008 | The-Single-Parent-Bible
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

The 'Bully Box' is a terrific idea.  Great advice.



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
May 2008 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Single Parents Bible Friend,

I love the idea of a Bully Box, too. You could also ask your kids to discuss bullying too.

Warmly,



Reply Reply Report
ellamia
September 2007 | ellamia
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!
Great advice and helpful hints there. Great article

Thanks Kelly


Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
October 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Kelly,

I appreciate your kind words and hope the article is helpful to you whenever you may need it.

Warmly,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
jenaya04
September 2007 | jenaya04
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Ok..where was this advice last week? lol

I have just been battling this whole bullying thing with my son and two boys at his school. After writing a very long and detailed letter to the teacher, things were delt with promptly thankfully and appear to be all ok now. Being the parent of a bullied child is gut wrenching...

Thanx again for the great article

Jo xx 



Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
September 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Jo,

I'm sorry your son was bullied and I hope it is over. I agree, being the parent of a bullied child is gut wrenching. It sounds like you handled it well, Jo. I appreciate your comments.

Warmly,

Jean



Reply Reply Report
emmie
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2007 | emmie
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!
this is brilliant advice thanks for sharing


Reply Reply Report
      JeanTracy
September 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Social Skills for Kids ~ How to Handle Bullies without Being a Tattletale!

Dear Emmie's Mom,

Wow! I appreciate your comment and am happy to share.

Warmly,

Jean



Reply Reply Report

Bookmarks

No bookmarks found

Know someone who would like this site? Refer a friend